Joyous Femininity (August)

“Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She looketh well to the ways of her household,
and eateth not the bread of idleness.
{Proverbs 31:25-27}

The Johnson household busily prepared for their coming guests with vigor. Mr. Johnson had just arrived home and their mother was enjoying conversation with him, as the maidens of the home cheerfully whisked around gathering beautiful napkins, setting the table, while others made the finishing touches on dinner in the kitchen. A new family in their community was expected to arrive any minute, and the girls were happy to assist in their lively family’s hospitality. “Hurry! Make sure there are enough chairs around the table!” One reminded, while their brothers announced from outdoors, “They are HERE!” Taking off their aprons, the four sisters laughed at each other’s frantic last attempts, and they headed out the door to greet their new friends. What a joy it was to prepare their home for others’ enjoyment!


What a joy it is to be a daughter of the King, to be a part of the homes of our future leaders, and to share the joy of that privilege with others! Women have been given a unique and powerful role in the development of history. When I think of the strong men of the Faith and many great theologians and preachers, I wonder about their upraising and the discipline that they were given by their mothers. Their fathers played mighty roles as well in their formation, but their mothers probably spent a majority of the time during their young and formative years, training them up in God’s Word. What a mighty tool these women were, by tackling the tasks the Lord had called them to in daily discipline, femininity, and homemaking – making their home a godly abode and a place of engaging, productivity.

It is with joy and excitement that I look forward to doing this same thing, by God’s grace someday, if it brings Him ultimate glory. Likewise, it is such a blessing to have been raised in a godly home and to be a part of this productive and busy family life, where God’s Word is taught, where discipline is established, and where the godly duties of womanhood are extolled. My sister and I have sought to fulfill our roles in this sphere, both in preparation to the seasons to come when we may order our own homes, and also to serve and further the influential sphere of our family’s home today.

This month, I’d love to share some reminders and thoughts about increasing our skills at home as daughters, and displaying the joy of our femininity on a daily basis. Sometimes I need the reminder!

learning homemaking arts
It is a great asset if we learn to be efficient homemakers (assisting our mothers now) during our years at home. We can assist our mothers daily by both learning new skills that will flow the process more smoothly and also enable her to serve our father more. I am sure many of you have already learned many cooking and household duties which is wonderful! I am excited to see so many godly daughters who are learning the ropes of homemaking at an early age. But let us not become satisfied with “what we have reached.” Let us always seek other skills and ways to“worketh willingly with her hands” (Proverbs 31:13).

We can make it our continual quest to learn to serve more nutritious foods, be more efficient in meal preparation, learning to make toxin-free home cleaners, and the list goes on. Grow a little garden and make your family fresh dinners with fine herbs and tomatoes. Learn to make your own soap and laundry/dishwasher detergent. Below I will share my sister Rachael’s recipe for dishwasher detergent. Things like this are economical and also toxin-free – and safer to have in a home with children.

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent
1/4 cup salt
1 cup borax
1 cup baking soda
2 packages lemonade power without sugar (optional, to prevent caking)
Mix in jar and use in dishwasher!

Several times each year, I like to clean our house windows. This easy homemade cleaning recipe works very well.

Window Cleaner
3 c. rubbing alcohol
1 ½ Tbsp. dish soap
¾ c. water
Use in spray bottle and squirt on dirty windows. Wipe clean with dry washcloth.{See The Young Maid Compilation for more cleaner recipes and many other ideas for maidens!}

Always be looking for new skills to learn and explore. It is all too easy, as daughters at home, to “stop” seeking to learn. It seems for me, that I can become carried away with one particular project or skill and forget the rest of the waiting world of skills to learn! Sometimes it is helpful at the beginning of a school year or new year, to plan new skills to learn or research and explore – maybe assign one new skill or topic a month. Mom gave me a bread recipe a few years ago to try for the family. It did not end up filling our needs, so we didn’t continue it, but ideas and recipes like this can be tried by us as daughters. Our moms do not have the same time and freedom we do to learn new aspects, and in a few years if you are a busy mom, you too will not be able to experiment and find the most efficient means for running each aspect of a household. Learn now so you can apply later! If you are at a loss for new skills to explore, a neat handbook to read is Keepers at Home, which lists skills for a homemaker-in-the-making to seek out. This may get your creative ideas flowing.

Here are some starter ideas…

Summer Refreshments~Calligraphy
~Cake decorating
~Cross Stitch
~Flower Arranging
~Home Decorating
~Pressing Flowers
~Sewing Curtains; Men, Women, Children & Baby Clothing

having a meek and quiet spirit
Because we have a distinct role from men, we can move and talk in a fashion that is gentle and supportive of their manly distinctions. First Peter commands women to be meek and quiet – not loud or usurping of the man’s leadership. This does not mean that she never voices encouragement or opinions in conversations, but when she is given the opportunity within the context of other men present, she does so with quiet submission.

The tone of voice we have is so powerful. I have a hard time always remember this and am praying God would teach me gentleness in speech! Our tone should be gentle and kind. This is not only applicable in voicing our opinion, but also when kindly correcting others, sharing with siblings, and speaking to family members at all times. Our tone of voice conveys a lot more than we might expect! The same words can be voiced with an offensive, defensive, prideful, gloating, gentle, meek, kind, caring, or questioning tone – so maybe lower your tone of voice a notch and when talking with both younger and older siblings, change your statement/command into a question or suggestion. This goes a long ways in not coming across as bossy (especially for us older sisters :)!

lady is, lady does
It is so lovely to see a woman who moves graciously and femininely! Just to convey the idea I picture of femininity, here are some thoughts to consider – swinging arms wildly or making jerking movements tends to draw attention which is not appropriate in a public place. Subtle movements are a bit more feminine sometimes!

At the root of the matter, our attitude is a true indicator of whether our movements are feminine or not. Everyone is different and has different habits…just ask your self when you walk or move or play, are you moving in a way that you know is not natural and attracts unneeded attention? Or are you moving with humility yet dignity?

uplifting not downplaying
If we are truly joyful in our role as women, we realize how vital and powerful the role that men have also been bestowed. An attitude of honor will definitely be visible in our actions toward them, as well as our words. Snickering remarks or degrading comments will not flow from a heart of reverence, whether men “deserve” it or not. Our worldly culture degrades masculinity, and as we display respect and honor to all men in public or in the church, we never know when that “one act” of honor causes one to contemplate the God-given responsibility he has and the way he is leading his life or family.

feminine clothing
Here in Kansas, we usually have pretty hot and humid summers! Today as I write, it is almost 100 degrees. “What to wear” is always a question on my mind and I have a difficult time finding modest yet cool attire for the summer months. I love the cool autumn and winter months when layers are fun to match with sweaters and jackets – but summer seems just impossible sometimes!

Because this is a hard issue for myself, I wonder if it is a point of ponder for minds also! One thing that has helped me, is to remember that I must not waver personal comfort in light of principles of modesty. I would encourage you to be a young lady of principle. If your parents prefer you to wear a 2-layer blouse or a certain length skirt when you are in public, then honor their desires. A few drops of sweat or discomfort are not compared to causing a brother or sister in our Lord Jesus to stumble.

Another thought about feminine clothing, is that everyone has different standards. It is never my desire to cause another sister in the Lord to be discontent with her own wardrobe or her parents’ clothing standard, because I wear something different. We have a freedom within each of our own family standards of dress, but it must be used with discretion and caution, remembering others with consideration. In some circles, outward appearance or dress can be a huge issue of struggle for girls. Several chapters in Romans address this issue; while on a larger scale of theology, I believe the same principles apply in other areas of life.

“For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord,
every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.
Let us not therefore judge one another any more:
but judge this rather,
that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way…
Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace,
and things wherewith one may edify another.”
{Romans 14:11-19}

It really is not that important what our clothing color and style preferences are, for we are to seek the Kingdom and righteousness of God together with the Body of believers, not cause schisms over trivial matters of clothing references (within reason of modesty). Verse 19 is a very crucial reminder to me when remembering my duty to build up others, and to glorify God, not focus on carnal areas such as pride in clothing. To live for ONE! The very next chapter of Romans says, “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves” (Romans 15:1). That is not to say we build our convictions around whomever we might to spend the day with, but we should be considerate of those who might be weak in this area and might stumble and look more at the outward than the inward – Christ. If you stand on principles and standards of modesty as a light for Jesus, others will be refreshed and challenged!

press on with joy 
Dear sister in Christ, I pray you will be blessed as you strive to be more feminine and joyful in God’s perfect design for you. How has He been convicting and molding your thoughts in this area lately?

God bless you this summer!

Looking to Christ my Savior,

1 c o m m e n t s »

KATIE HAMILTON  Dearest Sarah,
Thank you so much for sharing all that you did in this month’s forum on femininity. It was an encouragement, as I was going through (and still am dealing with repercussions of) adverse comments and conversations concerning my and my parent’s convictions concerning this VERY TOPIC!!!! It also motivated me a bit from the discouragement I was facing! God laid this on your heart at the perfect time! Thank you so much and PRAISE HIM, dear sister!!! Love, Katie