Category Archives: Family Relationships

Key Qualities of Being a Godly Sister

Follow-Up from Rebekah’s Session
at the Joyful Daughters Conference

Four Key Qualities of Being a Godly Sister

by Rebekah Parish

 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.
(1 Peter 3:8)

No matter what, we are going to influence our siblings–either towards the Lord and His ways, or away from Him. As sisters, we have the exciting opportunity to deeply and eternally impact our siblings’ walk with the Lord . . . and bear MUCH fruit to His glory!

However, trying to do anything for the Lord on our own will only end in failure.  All our strength and ability to love our brothers and sisters must come from Christ, our Source.  It is HE Who works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure (paraphrased from Phil. 2:13)! It takes daily investment in our relationship with Jesus for us to be able to invest Jesus into our sibling relationships.


The “Four Be’s” are four character qualities of a sister who has a wide, Godly influence.  We talked about the importance and beauty of these four qualities in our daily interactions with our siblings:

  • Be Sensitive

Have a quick and delicate understanding of others’ feelings. Being glad for good things they experience or grieve/hurt with them. Try to be all there. Put their interests above our own. Little siblings are little people in progress. Look deep in their eyes, really listen to them. Think of when I was their age. Recognize differences as God’s intent and purpose. Affirm different experiences/interests. Also quiet. Brothers – respect space, let them work through things. Be creative. Not adding to spiritual struggles – on their side. Be willing to give up freedoms so they can grow. Pray for wisdom. Serve together.

  • Be Humble

…that others might see Jesus in us, more than the fact that we are “right.” Quietly search our heart and have perfect quietness there – expect nothing, be at peace. Jesus is the perfect example of flawless humility. Jesus’ perfection, only ambition, concerned about Father’s will. 

  • Be Uplifting

They too have battles/decisions up against them. Be messengers of His love and truth. Selflessly set our own needs & interests aside. Live each day joyfully. Support them. Bring needs to the Lord in prayer. Enthusiastically cheer them on in the gifts He’s given them. 1) Stayed in constant fellowship with Father, 2) let go of own needs/desires/interests. Younger siblings: little things, praise. Notice them and be aware of their needs. Sisters: don’t belittle them, treat like our own age, be open and available with them. Brothers: respect them and give them more and more responsibility. Don’t crush their confidence. Choose encouragement more than criticism.

  • Be Faithful

Opportunities are going to arise. Hypocrisy ruins. Are we doing things we tell them not to do? Our siblings see the real us. Do I talk about the Lord in everyday settings? God’s love is unconditional. The Lord’s purpose is in the process. It isn’t about making no mistakes, but letting the Lord fill us with His strength.

This is how we model Christ!


Session Follow up: Practical Application

Take a moment to CONSIDER each of your siblings’ hearts, and IDENTIFY what they most need today.

  • Maybe it’s encouragement,
  • a listening ear,
  • respect,
  • humble repentance or forgiveness from you,
  • praise,
  • a few minutes of your full attention,
  • or loving prayers for their growth in Jesus.

Then ask the Lord to help you every day to be sensitive to His voice laying your siblings’ needs on your heart . . . and be obedient to it!

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Scripture to Ponder and Memorize

“With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3)

Personal Evaluative Questions

  • Am I driven by a deep desire to plant many seeds of Jesus’ love and truth in my brothers’ and sisters’ hearts?
  • What are some of the rewards of being humble in my interactions with my brothers and sisters?
  • If one of my siblings were to describe me to someone else based on the words that come out of my mouth on a daily basis, would he/she say I was an uplifting sister, or a negative, sour one?
  • Am I valuing my time, a hobby or an activity I enjoy above my brothers and sisters, or is it clear to them that I treasure them above my other interests?
  • How could I be a better example to them of Jesus’ faithful obedience to the Father?

If you would like to hear Rebekah’s entire session,
it is now available for download.

Did you miss it?

Audio recordings of the conference sessions are now available for download!

JD Conference Play Album

Pictures of KBR’s Joyful Daughters Conference are now online. We will continue to post follow-up notes from conference sessions in coming weeks on this forum—stay tuned!

slider_kbr conference 2015

Join us this month in seeking the Lord:

Do You Honor Your Parents from the Heart?

Follow-Up from Tiffany’s Session
at the Joyful Daughters Conference

Do You Honor Your Parents from the Heart?

by Tiffany Schlichter

 “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
(Deuteronomy 5:16)

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The biblical command to honor our parents (Ex. 20:12, Deut. 5:16) promises blessings, but true honor must come from the heart.

O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!” (Deuteronomy 5:29)

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What is in our heart is manifested in our actions; therefore, when this honor penetrates our heart, there will be a natural overflow of honoring actions toward our parents in large and small ways.

As we genuinely treasure our parents, we will find that honoring them becomes a true delight. This becomes possible when we ask the Lord to transform our heart and to fill us with His love and righteousness.

  • Honor from the heart (Deut. 5:16, Prov 4:1-4)
  • Opportunities for honor (Prov. 21:2, Prov. 17:9)
  • Never enough ways to honor
  • Open our hearts to true honor
  • Remember the goal – honor from the heart

Be best friends with your parents. Chose to honor them; joy will follow!

Show humility; honor their small preferences. Asking forgiveness shows we care. Submission to our parents is a choice. We might not always agree with our parents, but we can always honor. We help our siblings to honor our parents by how we talk about them even when they are not around. Pray Scriptures for your parents.

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Session Follow up – Practical Application

Gratitude is an essential building block for true honor. Make a list of what your life would look like if it weren’t for your parents’ role in your life.

Take time to express gratitude to them for raising and loving you.

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Scripture to Ponder and Memorize

”The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” (Proverbs 23:24-26)

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Personal Evaluative Questions

  • What sins are hindering me from honoring my parents from my heart (pride, selfishness, etc.)?
  • Do I resent their protection or do I thank the Lord for that gift?
  • How can I seek to honor my parents in ‘little things’?
  • What is one way I can be of practical assistance to my parents on a daily basis?
  • How will my choices regarding my relationship with my parents affect my future children?

If you would like to hear Tiffany’s entire session,
it is now available for download.

Did you miss it?

Audio recordings of the conference sessions are now available for download!

JD Conference Play Album

Pictures of KBR’s Joyful Daughters Conference are now online. We will continue to post follow-up notes from conference sessions in coming weeks on this forum—stay tuned!

slider_kbr conference 2015

Join us this month in seeking the Lord:

Sitting at His Feet & Serving with Joy (July)

July2014By Rachel Crosswhite

Martha quickly kneaded her bread dough and formed it into a perfect loaf shape. This meal had to be just right, because a good friend of hers was there in the small village of Bethany visiting Martha and her sister, Mary. The friend was in the next room, and it was Jesus! Mary and Martha had looked forward to this day for some time, for they dearly loved Jesus.

As she shoved the loaf into the oven, Martha grumbled to herself: “Why am I the one doing all this work for our meal? Mary should be helping, but there she sits with Jesus!” Martha hurriedly began working on the other food, thinking similar thoughts. Once or twice she stopped a moment to peek into the next room, hoping to see her sister getting up to join her in the preparations. But each time Mary was always in the same place – listening with close attention to Jesus’ words.

Finally, a sweaty, frustrated, and irritated Martha, her arms akimbo, marched into the room where Jesus and Mary sat. She asked in an exasperated voice: “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me alone to serve? Tell her then to come help me.”

Jesus gently rebuked her. “Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Martha felt so ashamed. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, taking a seat on a stool by Jesus’ feet. “I got so caught up in other things that I forgot how I should be taking time to listen to you instead.”

Jesus smiled, and this time, spoke to both of his friends. Martha listened attentively, and her heart was filled with happiness. She knew that this time she was making the right decision: sitting at the Master’s feet, and being spiritually fed. The meal she was preparing could wait. For now, she was feasting on food that would satisfy her soul.

[Based off of Luke 10:38-42]



As we learn from this story of Martha, we should not allow the cares of this world, as important as they may be, to take from our time with the Master. Time with Jesus – should be one of the most important things we do each day.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.”
(Matthew 6:33)

The Holy Scripture tells us, I love them that love me: and those that seek me early shall find me. (Prov. 8:17) We should desire to be with our Master, to be more like Him.

Mary, for instance, was sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening very carefully to all he was telling her. She took the time to quietly listen, to meditate, to seek Him.

Glory ye in his holy name:
let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.
 Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.” 
(1 Chronicles 16:11)

Mary had peace in her heart – her heart rejoiced – because she sought the Lord.

What Martha was doing was not wrong – there is nothing at all wrong with doing household chores, or of eating or sleeping. Those things are necessary things! The point is…what comes first when the Lord is speaking? Shall we live without thinking about the Lord, (except on Sundays), or live in the Spirit and abide in the Lord’s presence every day of the week? Dishes and food and beds can wait – remember, they are not eternal. Let us begin living our eternal life now by sitting at the Lord’s feet, listening to Him, today. Let us choose the better part that can never be taken from us.
My prayer is that I will always have time for my Master, and not let anything else be more important than Him – I don’t want to be like Martha, who was so busy, that she forgot how Jesus was most important.

Make me to understand the way of thy precepts:
so shall I talk of thy wondrous works.”

(Psalm 119:27)

~Rachel Crosswhite {Guest Writer}

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Challenge Your Siblings to Seek the Lord (April Challenge)

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by Sarah L. Bryant

“I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.
I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.”
{Psalm 119:15-16}

The Word of the Lord never returns void. It is sharper than any two-edged sword.

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It pierces our soul and spirit, discerning the thoughts and intents of our heart. God’s Word is a light to our feet. It shows us the way to salvation in Christ and it reveals to us His very nature.


It gives us hope for the future, and wisdom for how to live in a way that honors the Lord.

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Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? “By taking heed thereto according to Thy word.”

In light of the power of God’s Word in our lives as Christians, I am convinced that one of the most important things we can do in our youth is to study and memorize the Scriptures. This will establish a Rock-solid foundation in our lives that will never be taken away from us throughout the coming decades of our lives.

Sisters, it is so important that we not only seek God’s Word ourselves, but also encourage and challenge our brothers and sisters to love the Word – in their youth. We can set an example for them of putting our personal time with the Lord first in our daily lives, and encourage them to develop a solid habit of Scripture memory and Bible reading as well.

“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.”
{Psalm 119:11}

For the past few years, I have created a Bible reading challenge for my younger siblings: to read the Bible EVERY single day in the year – and not miss one day. They will receive a prize or treat if they complete the goal. They all have diligently and eagerly embraced this challenge successfully! What a blessing to see their perseverance! The Lord is blessing them as they seek the Lord and make personal Bible study a priority and habit. It is so exciting to see the spiritual fruit of this diligence in their lives, because God’s Word never returns void.

My siblings all completed the 2013 Bible Read Challenge, so I took them all out for a fun breakfast together

What a blessing it is to seek the Lord with my brothers and sister, and to see the blessing and fruit of this in their lives. This is my fervent hope for my siblings:

“Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily:
and thy
righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy rereward.”
{Isaiah 58:8}

Love you, little bro!

Sisters, continue to encourage and challenge your sisters and brothers to seek the Lord TODAY – while He may be found! Do not grow weary in well doing, for in due season the fruit will be reaped!

Wednesday is the last day of April – but not the end of our “Encourage Your Siblings” challenge! The goal of encouraging, exhorting, and praying for our brothers and sisters is one that should last a lifetime, and we pray that this past month you have firmly established that foundation to continue to build upon.

Do not forget to host a special party dinner for your siblings this week! Make this a fun project to work on together—plan the menu, decorations, special touches—make it unique and a very special time for your family. At dinner, together recite the verses that you memorized with your siblings this month.

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We would LOVE to hear about your sibling challenge this month, and your special dinner! Share your testimony (, and if you’d like, send along pictures of you with your siblings, your special party dinner, or projects you did together.


We are so thrilled that you took the challenge to invest in your siblings this past month. It is a joy to see you pour love and encouragement out into their lives. Continue to work along side them, encourage them in the Lord, and seek His Word together. As you sow, the Lord will bring the increase. “Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). ♥

Grateful for the journey we share of learning together with our siblings,
Sarah Lee

“Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth,
while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them.”
{Ecclesiastes 12:1}


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The Sister He Wants Me to Be (April Challenge)

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by Sarah Wiens

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies,
kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any:
even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
{Colossians 3:12-13}

It’s interesting being the middle child in a family with very large age gaps. Growing up, I was the youngest, and I longed for younger siblings. My older brother made it look very easy to be the oldest. He always had time to spend with me, even playing games with me that he did not particularly enjoy. I was sure that, if I had younger siblings, I would do just as well as he did as an older sibling – maybe even better!

Things changed when I was twelve years old . . . because that’s when I got younger siblings.

My two younger brothers and younger sister were adopted in May of 2008. I quickly realized that, rather than this being the end of the story, this was only the beginning! And, in all honesty, it looked like a rather scary beginning to me! My three younger siblings were not the sweet little angels I had imagined them to be . . . and, even more shocking to myself, I was not the sweet angelic older sister I had imagined myself to be, either.

There’s a lot I could say about my journey as a big sister. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve really been able to see the Lord’s hand at work. God brought them to us so they could hear the truth. It’s a mission field in our own home! That seems to be something I have to remind myself constantly, because it’s easy to write on the importance of being a good big sister – but it’s much harder to live out. It’s very difficult to give them my time when there are so many things that need to be checked off my checklist. It’s difficult to respond sweetly when my day is going chaotically. I know that Christ will give me strength to do what is right if I allow Him to control me, yet it is easy to give in to my flesh and just do what is natural. Being a big sister is hard.

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That’s when I have to think. When this season of life is over, how are my siblings going to remember me? With disdain, as they think about how selfish I was as I lived my own life and ignored them? Or with a smile, as they remember all the good times we had together? Most importantly, what are they going to think about Christianity from watching my life? These are sobering thoughts for me, as I think about my failures.

“For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing:
for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me…
O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
{Romans 7}

Thank God that His mercies are “new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23)! Each day is a new opportunity, yet I would still mess up if I had to do it on my own. I cannot be a good big sister on my own strength. But Christ is willing to make me the sister He wants me to be. He can use me as a tool for good in my siblings’ lives. Will I let Him work?

“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.”
{1 John 3:18}


This month, KBR is hosting an “Encourage Your Siblings Challenge.” Throughout April, we are posting one article each week by big sisters, who will share encouragement and ideas for how to bless the younger siblings in our lives. We would love to hear your ideas as well – feel free to comment.

Feel free to tell your friends about this challenge and encourage them to join you as you “Encourage Your Siblings”!


 Siblings Challenge April 2014

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