Key Qualities of Being a Godly Sister

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Follow-Up from Rebekah’s Session
at the Joyful Daughters Conference

Four Key Qualities of Being a Godly Sister

by Rebekah Parish

 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.
(1 Peter 3:8)

No matter what, we are going to influence our siblings–either towards the Lord and His ways, or away from Him. As sisters, we have the exciting opportunity to deeply and eternally impact our siblings’ walk with the Lord . . . and bear MUCH fruit to His glory!

However, trying to do anything for the Lord on our own will only end in failure.  All our strength and ability to love our brothers and sisters must come from Christ, our Source.  It is HE Who works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure (paraphrased from Phil. 2:13)! It takes daily investment in our relationship with Jesus for us to be able to invest Jesus into our sibling relationships.

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The “Four Be’s” are four character qualities of a sister who has a wide, Godly influence.  We talked about the importance and beauty of these four qualities in our daily interactions with our siblings:

  • Be Sensitive

Have a quick and delicate understanding of others’ feelings. Being glad for good things they experience or grieve/hurt with them. Try to be all there. Put their interests above our own. Little siblings are little people in progress. Look deep in their eyes, really listen to them. Think of when I was their age. Recognize differences as God’s intent and purpose. Affirm different experiences/interests. Also quiet. Brothers – respect space, let them work through things. Be creative. Not adding to spiritual struggles – on their side. Be willing to give up freedoms so they can grow. Pray for wisdom. Serve together.

  • Be Humble

…that others might see Jesus in us, more than the fact that we are “right.” Quietly search our heart and have perfect quietness there – expect nothing, be at peace. Jesus is the perfect example of flawless humility. Jesus’ perfection, only ambition, concerned about Father’s will. 

  • Be Uplifting

They too have battles/decisions up against them. Be messengers of His love and truth. Selflessly set our own needs & interests aside. Live each day joyfully. Support them. Bring needs to the Lord in prayer. Enthusiastically cheer them on in the gifts He’s given them. 1) Stayed in constant fellowship with Father, 2) let go of own needs/desires/interests. Younger siblings: little things, praise. Notice them and be aware of their needs. Sisters: don’t belittle them, treat like our own age, be open and available with them. Brothers: respect them and give them more and more responsibility. Don’t crush their confidence. Choose encouragement more than criticism.

  • Be Faithful

Opportunities are going to arise. Hypocrisy ruins. Are we doing things we tell them not to do? Our siblings see the real us. Do I talk about the Lord in everyday settings? God’s love is unconditional. The Lord’s purpose is in the process. It isn’t about making no mistakes, but letting the Lord fill us with His strength.

This is how we model Christ!

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Session Follow up: Practical Application

Take a moment to CONSIDER each of your siblings’ hearts, and IDENTIFY what they most need today.

  • Maybe it’s encouragement,
  • a listening ear,
  • respect,
  • humble repentance or forgiveness from you,
  • praise,
  • a few minutes of your full attention,
  • or loving prayers for their growth in Jesus.

Then ask the Lord to help you every day to be sensitive to His voice laying your siblings’ needs on your heart . . . and be obedient to it!

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Scripture to Ponder and Memorize

“With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3)

Personal Evaluative Questions

  • Am I driven by a deep desire to plant many seeds of Jesus’ love and truth in my brothers’ and sisters’ hearts?
  • What are some of the rewards of being humble in my interactions with my brothers and sisters?
  • If one of my siblings were to describe me to someone else based on the words that come out of my mouth on a daily basis, would he/she say I was an uplifting sister, or a negative, sour one?
  • Am I valuing my time, a hobby or an activity I enjoy above my brothers and sisters, or is it clear to them that I treasure them above my other interests?
  • How could I be a better example to them of Jesus’ faithful obedience to the Father?

If you would like to hear Rebekah’s entire session,
it is now available for download.

Did you miss it?

Audio recordings of the conference sessions are now available for download!

JD Conference Play Album

Pictures of KBR’s Joyful Daughters Conference are now online. We will continue to post follow-up notes from conference sessions in coming weeks on this forum—stay tuned!

slider_kbr conference 2015

Join us this month in seeking the Lord:

Do You Honor Your Parents from the Heart?

Follow-Up from Tiffany’s Session
at the Joyful Daughters Conference

Do You Honor Your Parents from the Heart?

by Tiffany Schlichter

 “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
(Deuteronomy 5:16)

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The biblical command to honor our parents (Ex. 20:12, Deut. 5:16) promises blessings, but true honor must come from the heart.

O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!” (Deuteronomy 5:29)

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What is in our heart is manifested in our actions; therefore, when this honor penetrates our heart, there will be a natural overflow of honoring actions toward our parents in large and small ways.

As we genuinely treasure our parents, we will find that honoring them becomes a true delight. This becomes possible when we ask the Lord to transform our heart and to fill us with His love and righteousness.

  • Honor from the heart (Deut. 5:16, Prov 4:1-4)
  • Opportunities for honor (Prov. 21:2, Prov. 17:9)
  • Never enough ways to honor
  • Open our hearts to true honor
  • Remember the goal – honor from the heart

Be best friends with your parents. Chose to honor them; joy will follow!

Show humility; honor their small preferences. Asking forgiveness shows we care. Submission to our parents is a choice. We might not always agree with our parents, but we can always honor. We help our siblings to honor our parents by how we talk about them even when they are not around. Pray Scriptures for your parents.

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Session Follow up – Practical Application

Gratitude is an essential building block for true honor. Make a list of what your life would look like if it weren’t for your parents’ role in your life.

Take time to express gratitude to them for raising and loving you.

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Scripture to Ponder and Memorize

”The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” (Proverbs 23:24-26)

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Personal Evaluative Questions

  • What sins are hindering me from honoring my parents from my heart (pride, selfishness, etc.)?
  • Do I resent their protection or do I thank the Lord for that gift?
  • How can I seek to honor my parents in ‘little things’?
  • What is one way I can be of practical assistance to my parents on a daily basis?
  • How will my choices regarding my relationship with my parents affect my future children?

If you would like to hear Tiffany’s entire session,
it is now available for download.

Did you miss it?

Audio recordings of the conference sessions are now available for download!

JD Conference Play Album

Pictures of KBR’s Joyful Daughters Conference are now online. We will continue to post follow-up notes from conference sessions in coming weeks on this forum—stay tuned!

slider_kbr conference 2015

Join us this month in seeking the Lord:

A Life-Changing Relationship (April)

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by Sarah L. Bryant

Dear Sisters,

Last week, at KBR’s Joyful Daughters Conference, it was such a blessing to meet many of you and to seek the Lord during our time together! I was blessed by each of you who attended. From the fellowship with like-minded believers, to the many sessions by young ladies and Titus 2 mothers — I was challenged in my walk with the Lord!

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There was so much wisdom shared in the sessions during the two days together — I have been trying to review what speakers shared to help it soak into my heart. I thought that to help us all digest what we heard, we could review main points from the sessions, in the next couple weeks on KBR’s forum. For those of you who were not able to attend the Joyful Daughters conference in person, this will also give you an opportunity to glean with us.

The conference’s opening session focused on the importance of seeking the Lord NOW – in our youth. I would like to share some of the main points that I gave in this session, with some practical thoughts on how to incorporate them.

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Seeking the Lord—a Life-Changing Relationship

by Sarah L. Bryant

Now set your heart and your soul to seek the LORD your God.”
(1 Chronicles 22:19)

What is most important to you in this whole world? What is your deepest desire?

Is it knowing the Lord and walking with Him?

Seeking the Lord is the most important thing we can do. This relationship with our heavenly Father will bear fruit for the rest of our lives and throughout eternity!

If we love Jesus…seeking and knowing Him will be a delight, not a chore!

When we realize all that Jesus Christ has done for us in salvation, then our deepest desire will become to know Him better. And as we seek Him, we are transformed day by day into His glorious image. I love 2 Corinthians 3:18—

“We all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

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So, practically, what are some ways that we can be seeking the Lord God? How can we be striving to know Him better?

In this session, we shared five ways to seek the Lord…

  • Spend time with Him daily (Psalm 119:2)
  • Memorize His Word (Psalm 119:11)
  • Surround yourself with His Word (Deut.11:18,20)
  • Meditate on Him & His works (Psalm 77:12)
  • Talk with the Lord in prayer (Heb. 4:16)
  • Honor His special day (Isaiah 58:13,14)

I would like to share some practical ideas for how to apply a few of these points this next month!

Start a Bible study with your mom and sister(s)

Pick one specific topic to study in God’s Word this new month. If your mom and/or sisters would like to join you, that is all the better!

Here are some sample things you could look up or study….

  • An attribute of God
  • God’s commands to believers in a certain book of the Bible
  • Justification / sanctification / predestination, etc.
  • Proverbs’ wisdom concerning a wise tongue, a godly woman, training children, etc.

I recently did a study in the book of I John of the marks of a true Christian. This is what I found: a Christian….

  • Walks in the Light/Truth I John 1:7
  • Recognizes her sins I John 1:8
  • Confesses her sins I John 1:9
  • Keeps God’s commands I John 3:24
  • Loves one another I John 3:10,14
  • Loves NOT the world I John 2:15

KBR is actually hosting a “Seek the Lord” challenge this month (April) – this would be the perfect time to join us as we study God’s Word together!

Memorize Scripture with a friend

Did you make a new friend at the conference? Ask her to be your accountability partner and memorize a Bible chapter with you this summer. Call each other every few weeks to recite what you have memorized. A great passage to begin with is Psalm 1 or 25.

Be creative – surround yourself with God’s Word

How many Bible verses do you have visible in your bedroom? Write out some verses that the Lord has used to encourage you and hang them on your wall or mirror! Be creative about putting God’s precious Word before you all day long.

Invest time in prayer

How much time do you currently devote to praying each day? This is one of the most powerful parts of your spiritual life. Strive to develop a habit of praying at least five minutes a day—starting tonight.

It may be hard to begin with, but  as the days go by and you discipline your mind to prayer, you will begin to DELIGHT in this time with Jesus!

“No man [or woman] is greater than his prayer life… We have many organizers, but few agonizers; many players and payers, few pray-ers; many singers, few clingers; lots of pastors, few wrestlers; many fears, few tears; much fashion, little passion; many interferers, few intercessors; many writers, but few fighters. Failing here, we fail everywhere.” – Leonard Ravenhill

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In closing, let’s remember…

We must cultivate our walk with the Lord! It will not just happen! We must be committed to seeking Jesus — but we will NEVER regret ONE moment spent with Him!

And the exciting thing is that the more we know God, the more we will love Him!

I truly have found that the more I learn about my dear Heavenly Father every day—the more my heart grows to love Him. He is so worthy of my every praise and adoration and worship, just because He is SO GOOD!

So, my dear friends, I invite you to join me in seeking Jesus each day. Will you make knowing Jesus your greatest goal and deepest desire?

In one year from now, your life will bear the fruit of your walk with Jesus. Start planting spiritual seeds today!

“For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.” (Psalm 107:9)

Grateful for the privilege of seeking Him together,
Sarah Lee Bryant

Did you miss it?

Pictures of KBR’s Joyful Daughters Conference are now online. We will be posting notes from sessions in coming weeks on this forum—stay tuned!

slider_kbr conference 2015

Join us this month in seeking the Lord:

This Month’s Desktop Wallpaper:

Current Issue of KBR Magazine:

Habits : Good or Bad? (March)

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by Andrea Nymeyer

What do you associate with the word ‘habit’? Do you tend to think of leaving clothes all over the floor, unnecessary throat clearing, or door slamming?

It is true that all of these things are habits, but they are not the only kind of habits. While our minds seem to make a negative association with the word, habits can be positive too. By definition a habit is:

“A disposition or condition of the mind or body acquired by custom or a frequent repetition of the same act.”
(Webster’s 1828 dictionary)

So you see, a habit is simply something we have done so often that we are conditioned to do it without thinking.

We all have these things we automatically think of as our own personal ‘bad habits’? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to change these things to good things? Bad habits don’t have to stay “bad”; we can not only defeat them, but change them to good habits. The earlier we can develop good habits, the better we will make life for ourselves and for those around us. Here are some of the habits we can start to develop today.

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  1. Learn to clean up. Our Daddy is in the janitorial business, so some evenings, we play “janitorial company” by working together to clean much of the house. As we’ve grown older, this makes for great memories. We must get in the habit of picking things up. When you walk through a disorderly room, try to grab a few stray things and put them where they belong. If the couch pillows are on the floor, it only takes a second to toss them back in their place. Once you do this often enough you will find your hands straitening items before your brain registers the fact that they need to be straightened. This will be a great blessing to your family now and in the future.
  2. Get up when it is time to get up. This is one that I have to rejuvenate in myself every so often, but is surprisingly easy to develop. After a few consecutive mornings of getting up at a consistent time, it becomes easier to solidify the habit. One of my sisters had trouble with a shortage of time in her day. She started to get up an hour earlier, and is loving it. She was surprised with the fact that she now awakens a few moments before her alarm clock rings. Instill this in yourself now, and when you are a Mother with no one to rouse you each morning, you will be so glad you developed this habit.
  3. Think of God and speak His name. Get in the habit of speaking of the goodness of God and thanking Him audibly. Seeing the beauty in His creation, His protection, and His answers to prayer are just a few of the opportunities we have to praise Him. In order to see His hand, we must already be aware of Him. Keep the Lord in mind whatever you are doing, and you will see the His hand more readily. When you are thinking of God’s goodness it’s pretty hard to be a grouch! Joyful people are the most attractive people – the type of folks who seem ageless.

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These are just a few habits we can be developing now. I challenge you to begin today to implement one of these ideas, or think of one on your own. There are so many good habits for us to implement as we strive to grow into sweet Christian ladies.

Remember that habits don’t have to be bad. They can be a wonderful foundation for your life.

-By Andrea Nymeyer:
a homeschool graduate who loves cooking, violin, writing, children, and reading with her family.

This Month’s Desktop Wallpaper:

KBR’s Joyful Daughters Conference, March 20-21, 2015:
KBR conference 2015 With Speakers

Ten-Year Anniversary Issue of KBR Magazine:

Learning Contentment In All Things (February)

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“Choosing God’s will over our desires is certainly a lifelong process.”

by Mrs. Cynthia Veysey

“Not that I speak in respect of want;
For I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
[Philippians 4:11]

As believing women, we will all admit that the road to learning settled contentment seems to be a lifelong one. The Christian life is a journey along a wonderfully lighted path. Our Lord Jesus goes on before us, the Holy Spirit, our Comforter, illuminating every step with the light of His Word. Through the years, by God’s grace, we see measures of growth toward maturity in every area, including, and perhaps especially, that of contentment and a willingness to only please Him in all that we do. God brings various and sundry things into the lives of individuals, couples and families.

This testimony is what the Lord has given to us and is an area that I find little written about. It may be partly because it involves a relatively ‘small’ population of Christians, or perhaps because there is very little recorded concerning this topic in the New Testament. I hope that it will be used by God in the lives of others who may be experiencing it, or will in the future.

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When I met the love of my life in 1979, we were both new believers. I was eighteen years old, recently graduated from high school and so very excited to begin a second “new life”; that of a keeper of the home; looking forward to being the wife of this wonderful young man and the mother of 12 children, if the Lord would be willing. We married in October of 1980 and month by month, year by year, we prayed and waited expectantly for our first dear little child to come into the world.

After our second year of marriage we were blessed to have our sweet nephew, Bradley, come into our lives on a regular basis. Due to sad circumstances he lived with us, spending time with his father (my husband’s brother) for a few hours each day but returning to his home with us for 4 years of his life. We were thrilled to have him from the time he was 9 months old until he was almost 5. This filled a void in our lives for a season, but when God made it clear that we were to move to a different state, Bradley went back to be with his father and soon started school. The separation was difficult for both Bradley and for us but God gave grace through it all.

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We had been married nearly eight years at this point and we continued to pray and await God’s timing in having children. The Lord moved us into two more major life-changes; one, a relocation to South Carolina so that my husband could attend college at Bob Jones University. Six years later He brought us back to New England to help in a small church. By the time we were sent “back home,” where we presently still abide, we had been married 17 years. Though it had not happened yet, we knew that God was still entirely able to bring children into our lives. Being surrounded by nieces and nephews once again was a great blessing, something we had missed for the nine years that we had been away from our home area.

Many times through those years, loving and well-meaning couples reminded us that there was always the opportunity of adoption. Having had witnessed adoption through the lives of grandparents on both sides of my family, I hold it in very high regard. We know many families, and highly respect those who have adopted children into their homes. From the beginning of our marriage we only wanted to have God’s will for our lives. I suppose that part of the decision not to adopt may have come from fear of not knowing if it was truly God’s will or if in adoption we would just be trying to “fill a void” that God was entirely able to fill with Himself. Whatever the reason, though faced with two opportunities to adopt newborns, we both were convinced each time that it was not the Lord’s will. When I turned 40 I went through a tumultuous two months of struggling with the Lord’s will in this burden of our hearts. He used the verse from Hebrews 5:8 to remind me that, “Though He were a son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered.” Obedience is “learned.” Obedience is also a choice. Choosing God’s will over our desires is certainly a lifelong process. It is a daily discipline.

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“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
[Matthew 16:24, 25]

No two people bear the same cross. Perhaps this testimony is similar to that of many couples, but it is that which the Lord has given to us alone. As you can understand, I can only write from a woman’s perspective. It is difficult to know or articulate how a man does view this same situation, but I am thankful that my dear husband has left it completely with the Lord. Our lesson of contentment in ‘disappointment’ has gone on now for nearly 34 years. By God’s grace the ‘disappointment’ has become less and less, while He teaches us obedience more and more. There will come a day when we step into eternity with our God to worship the Father and Lord Jesus Christ forever. What will it matter then, what we have gone through, “suffered,” here on earth? Until then, He says,

“My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
[2 Corinthians 12:9,10]

-By Mrs. Cynthia Veysey
who writes from Vermont. She is the joyful wife of her loving husband, and they serve the Lord in a small Bible church and both help with the care her dear, 85-year-old mother.

“When thy secret hopes have perished in the grave of years gone by, let this promise still be cherished, ‘I will guide thee with mine eye.’”
-William Cowper [I will Guide Thee With Mine Eye]

Photography by Maggie and Martha Joy B.

This Month’s Desktop Wallpaper:

Ten-Year Anniversary Issue of KBR Magazine: