by DeLane Moore
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
(Psalm 133:1)
Hello Sisters!
“Togetherness” is a word used by my mama quite often to describe spending time together as a family. In the afternoons, we hear her voice ringing through the house saying, “Everyone gather! We’re going to read together!” And we all meet up – either in our cozy living room around the wood stove or on our pleasant front porch with rocking chairs and a porch swing. “Togetherness” means a lot to our parents. You know, I think our heavenly Father designed us to desire and crave special family time. He uses it mightily in our lives.
One of the best ways to spend time with family is to be in the Word of God together. My daddy is very diligent to lead us in family worship and Bible reading. We love singing together and reflecting on what the Lord has done and is doing for us. On busy days when daddy has to get out the door for work, our mother has also been faithful to share the Bible with us. She has helped us memorize many Scripture passages together.
We have some really fun family traditions. I will share one with you. Every single Friday night, we have “Family Night” in our big open family room. Some things we like to do are watch videos (God-glorifying documentaries and occasional feature-length films with Biblical principles), read, and play games. Our mother likes to make a special supper for that night, and every first Friday of the month we have a “coffee party” for dessert. We also sleep on blankets and air mattresses covering the floor. I hope this tradition will be long-lasting throughout future generations. All of us look forward to Family Night.
My siblings and I have a few simple and fun ways we like to spend time together. We enjoy taking walks, riding bikes, reading, swimming, listening to audiobooks, and just talking and sharing things we did throughout the day. We also enjoy playing instruments together. We play by ear, so that’s a great way to practice living together in “harmony”!
We also enjoy working together. Planting a garden is a great way to spend time with family. Many of my garden memories consist of cultivating hearts while cultivating a garden! We enjoy talking and singing while hoeing and weeding. When canning time rolls around, we are about ready to drop, but we help each other along and eventually get it done. The end result outweighs the hard work. I love the phrase, “Many hands make light work.” That phrase is used often in our home, and it gives us a good outlook on pitching in and helping out.
Living in unity with family is also practice and preparation for all of life. As believers, we will likely live most of our days interacting on some level with brothers and sisters in Christ. At home, we have the opportunity to experience and glean what it means to die to self, forgive, and love when it is hard. This humbling and sanctifying of our souls prepares us for living alongside the body of Christ and loving well — like JESUS.
“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.”
(1 John 3:18-19)
I have shared some practical ways our family works to cultivate that spirit of “togetherness,” but we are all familiar with the challenges facing us in the small moments of the day. So what are some practical principles to apply to our sibling relationships in the ways we interact and think about them?
(Note to any only-child: You are not excluded from this message! These principles ought to be applied to all the beautiful people God has placed in our lives. So, please read on and be encouraged to love more fully and graciously all those in your life!)
1. Realize each of your family members is specially made in the image of God
Every individual is precious, designed by God for His glory and purposes. Embracing our siblings and parents (and everyone in our life!) with all their delightful quirks and personality differences really starts with a heart of gratitude to God for each precious life. Not only that… But have you ever thought about the fact that God creates each family uniquely for a purpose? His design plans are always perfect. So, when you begin to become ungrateful or bitter either because of a sibling that knows how to push your every button or because you don’t have that older brother or little sister that you’ve always wanted, remember that HE IS GOOD. And He has the best in store for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). He deserves our continual gratitude! This will spill forth into a greater appreciation for each sibling and brother and sister in Christ.
2. Live and love in light of God’s grace for you
It is not always easy to get along with everyone in our home. But the way we handle challenges reveals who we really are. We should love our siblings and parents just as they are. We need to pray for each other every day. We don’t always have the right hearts while working and playing together, but we strive to do better, by God’s grace, in everything we do! And this must be our anthem: GOD’S grace. Without His grace displayed on the cross, we wouldn’t know what sacrificial love is. Without His grace working in our souls to draw us to Himself, we wouldn’t know how beautiful this unconditional love is. So, we can all love better as we live in light of the grace of our heavenly Father.
“But by the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than them all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.”
(1 Corinthians 15:10)
3. Put others before yourself!
How many of you have thought at some point how willing you would be to die for Christ? I have, only to be humbled the next moment by His whisper in my ear, “How willing are you to live for Me?” In living for Christ during the little moments of every day, we must be ready to die to our flesh. Our merciful Lord has filled our life with so many “opportunities.” Little brother wants the last cookie…but so do you. Sister has not finished her laundry and is now playing or reading a book, but then mother asks you to finish the laundry for her. Older brother would appreciate you running an errand for him, but it will take you far out of your way. The list goes on…and again, even without siblings, we are all faced with these similar moments. Would you join me in choosing to die to self and live to Christ…one moment at a time?
“Our goal is not productivity, but holiness. Not speed, but obedience. Not success, but surrender.” —John Piper
What’s most important…
In order for any of the above to be lived out and embraced as beautiful, one thing is most necessary: Relationship with CHRIST. This must come first. It is foundational, this seeking of Jesus. Without Him, our lives our a ruin and our relationships are falling apart. Only in and through Christ can we hope to love our siblings, parents, and dear family in Christ as He has called us to. I encourage you, sisters, wake in the morning in pursuit of Jesus, immerse your heart and mind in His Word. Then, throughout your day, seek His face (Psalm 27:8). He is near. He longs to hear your heart. Even more than your sacrifice, He desires your steadfast love. And He desires knowledge of Him more than burnt offerings (Hosea 6:6). Because HE knows this is where it must begin. The most love you can show to your family and friends is in how you choose to invest in your relationship with JESUS.
Then we may begin to outpour that relationship, contributing grace and peace to our homes.
“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
(Proverbs 17:17)
Please share in the comments below, what can you do to help create this atmosphere of unity and love amongst your siblings, parents, and friends?
– DeLane
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