This month, KBR is hosting an “Encourage Your Siblings Challenge.” Throughout we are posting articles written by other sisters with ideas on how to invest in and encourage our siblings. As you take the challenge this month, we would love to hear what projects YOU have done together with your siblings. Email your ideas to us to share with other KBR readers!

Dudenhoffer Siblings

Hailey Dudenhoffer

One way sisters can encourage their siblings is by simply talking to them. If my siblings want to tell me a story that they think is funny (which sometimes can take a long time), I take the time to listen and engage in what they are telling me. I try to laugh along with them even if the story isn’t necessarily funny to me. Lately, my younger siblings have been enjoying making interesting creations with our Brio Builder toys. When they finish a creation, they like to show it to me, often while I’m working on my school. My brother Ethan (8) likes to be talked to like a big kid, so I talk to him about his creations, ask questions about it, and tell him what I like about it. When my three-year-old brother brings me the “car” he created all by himself, I like to say things like, “Good job, Levi! Wow, look at your car! Did you have fun making it?” and so on.

Another way I try to encourage my siblings is by putting aside my own plans, and spending one-on-one time with them. For example, I usually get the baby ready for bed every night. Even though I would much rather just get him tucked in quickly and then be free to do my own things, he so enjoys it when we spend time together. He is starting to talk more and more, so we have fun practicing his words, tickling, cuddling, singing and so on. Just the little time we are able to spend together one-on-one has done amazing things for our relationship.

Sometimes, all younger siblings need in order to know that you love them is a simple smile. Make it a priority to smile at your siblings—smile at them long, and smile at them often.

Hailey Dudenhoffer (14)

 

Bryan Siblings

Elizabeth Bryan

I am extremely thankful for each and every one of my brothers and sisters. We love being with each other. It never feels right if I am not with my siblings. I would like to share what we do as a family every day, and pray that it will encourage you to love and praise the Lord for your siblings every day!

In the morning, we all get up and begin our day. I kneel and pray to the Lord before dressing. Next, my sister and I begin to clean our animal cages. She has 60 birds! As we clean, we enjoy talking together. After cleaning, we all gather at the big dining room table to eat our breakfast and do our school. After doing our Language lessons, Noah and I start our violin lessons. Noah has a hard time learning his notes, so I’ve come up with a idea to help him. Since he likes to play Army, I give him Army badges when he completes the requirements to earn them. In this way he is becoming a better violin player. When school is over, we all make lunch together, and often take a picnic in the woods and eat there.

One thing we have all enjoyed doing together is embroidering as we listen to history tapes, or story CDs. Even my brothers like to try to do embroidery and our little sister tries to join in as well. We also enjoy sewing, doing crafts, or playing outside. The boys sometimes play Marines with each other.

At around 4:00, it’s “pet time,” as we call it. Anna and I let our animals out to play in their room, while we do our Bible studies. Then I sometimes tell the boys a story, or I work on a book I’m writing. Next, I make dinner, and then, after supper and bath, we like to draw. We like to draw pictures and my sister Sarah is a very good artist.

I am thankful for the time the Lord has given me to be with my wonderful family and am journeying toward the ultimate goal: meeting the Lord in Heaven and hearing Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant, well done.”

Elizabeth Bryan (15)

Lydia-Grace Meggs

Encouraging siblings has always been a challenge for me, ever since I was young. I like the verse, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). That verse plays over and over again in my mind when I am interacting with my siblings. When I am tempted to speak angrily, or say discouraging things, the Lord convicts my heart. I am sure that most of you have had moments when someone does something that you do not like, and in turn, you are prompted to speak back harshly. When that happens, think of this verse—“a soft answer turneth away wrath.” This should go through your mind, causing you to reflect, think before you answer, and say something edifying. “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29). Many blessings to you in Christ Jesus!

Lydia-Grace Meggs (13)

Davenport Siblings

Kinslea Davenport

Sometimes just the littlest things make all the difference in our siblings’ lives. Play what they want to play. Take time to see their newest little toy they made. Congratulate them on new ideas they might have. As a sister of four brothers, here are some of the things I have done:

• Play soldiers with your brothers. My brothers showed me how to get all dressed up to play, and it made all the difference to them that I wanted to play with them.
• Make a special breakfast for your mom. One morning, when the rest of the family was asleep, one of my brothers and I made a delicious breakfast including cinnamon biscuits and icing, tea, and a fruit salad. What made all the difference in my little brother’s life was that I included him in this project.
• Work together. My brother and I make a mopping team, one mopping, while the other sprays the floor. All the difference is that he feels special by being able to help.
• Play together. My brothers and I play kickball together. They think it is special when I let them come up with the game that we should play together.

If you are telling them what to do and making them try to obey you, try talking gently to them instead, and doing what they want to do, and soon they will want to do what you want to do!

Kinslea Davenport (10)

Elise Meggs

“Elese, I have nothing to do. Can you work with me in the workshop and we can make something together?”

“Leese, can I play with your doll Sarah? I am tired of playing with my dolls. Oh, can you set up a house for me before you leave? I can not do it like you. “

“Leese, you said that we would read the KBR together this morning, but we did not get up early enough. Can we do it this afternoon?”

I am the oldest sister in my family, and all of my younger siblings want a portion of my time. You like to spend time with them, right? In a similar way younger siblings look up to their older brothers and sisters. Here are some ideas on how to invest in the lives of your siblings.

• Take the time to notice what they value
• Ask how they might want to spend time with you
• Suggest doing projects that they can only do with help
• Memorize Scripture with them
• If your brothers enjoy outside activity, play “Indians” with them for the afternoon
• Remember that you are helping your sibling have fun, even if you think you look weird
• Tea parties are enjoyed by little sisters
• Sometimes reading aloud to the younger ones is a huge blessing to them
• Play hide and seek and give a prize to whoever is found last, or not found at all
• Let them be your supper-making helper
• Take nature walks with your siblings and talk about how you both enjoy life and how you struggle
• Make playdough figures with them
• Color and draw with them

There are many ways in which we can invest in our siblings’ lives. Be creative and ask God to help you bless your siblings lives…not only in April, but forever! I pray you all will love your family more with each passing day.

Elise Marie Meggs (16)

Bonus Ideas!

Have a card-making festival with your sisters – be creative and create different styles with supplies such as ribbon, buttons, stitching with a sewing machine, layering different color papers, and more! Cards are very fun to make together, and can also be an encouragement to friends and family – send them a note and Scripture verse. Enjoy a cup of tea and a cookie while you work together with your siblings.

Make a batch of cookies together. Brothers especially will love this special treat!

Little sisters often love it when big sister arranges their hair a little differently or fancier than normal. Take the extra time to arrange her hair one morning and add a colorful ribbon.

Doing an egg hair treatment – or an egg/herbal hair treatment – is easy and can be a unique adventure to do together. It also strengthens and boosts the health of hair. (Ask your mom before tackling this project!) Or, have a dress-up tea party; every little sister – and little brothers too – love to dress up!

Plant some flowers, seeds – or your family garden – together. As you work, share with your siblings how our spiritual life is similar to gardening principles. Most importantly, take time to listen, encourage, and pray with your brothers and sisters.

Do you have more ideas? Feel free to share them with us! Many blessings to you as you invest in your siblings’ lives for eternity!

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus…
[Who] made himself of no reputation,
and took upon him the form of a servant,
and was made in the likeness of men: 
And being found in fashion as a man,
he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death,
even the death of the cross.”
{Philippians 2:5-7} 

Enjoy this month’s special computer desktop wallpaper:

by Olivia Meggs

This month, KBR is hosting an “Encourage Your Siblings Challenge.” Throughout the month, we are posting articles written by other sisters with ideas on how to invest in and encourage our siblings. As you take the challenge this month, we would love to hear what projects YOU have done together with your siblings. Email your ideas to us to share with other KBR readers!

The Meggs Siblings

“Behold, how good and how
pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
{Psalm 133:1} 

Sharp answers . . . judging assumptions . . . don’t we all have those moments when it seems like our siblings are trying to annoy us on purpose? If you answered yes, then you are on the same page as I was a year ago. It seemed to me, that no matter how hard I tried, our relationships just did not get any better. I tried using every technique that came to mind to change my siblings – I told myself that if my siblings would just stop being noisy and careless, life would be so much easier! “If our siblings change, our relationships with them will become better, right?”

Wrong. Nothing could be farther from the truth! Ultimately, we are responsible for making sure our relationships with younger siblings are wholesome, uplifting and fun. Our sinful nature tells us that our siblings (not ourselves) are the wrongdoers and that we cannot be happy unless they change. However, the key to a good relationship is realizing that you are the problem, the provoker, and the biggest stumbling block. You are the cause of the hurt, strife and annoyance. You may say, ‘But wait – isn’t there any way I can have a good relationship without humbling myself? You just don’t understand!’ Because I am a sinful human just like you, I can say with all truthfulness, that I truly do understand! That was my reaction to my siblings in the past. I am here to tell you what I had to learn the hard way: Your relationship will never change unless you change first. You must chose to refuse to become annoyed with your little brother, when he comes for the fifteenth time while you are in the middle of a hard Algebra problem. Refuse to be irritated when they make a mess. My relationship with my younger brothers and sisters did not get better until I realized that I was the problem, and through God’s grace strove to be an encourager to them – accepting my siblings just as they are. Am I saying that younger siblings never sin? Absolutely not! However, our focus should be to change our heart and let God do the work in theirs. That is the only way to have a godly and fun relationship with our brothers and sisters!

I would like to share with you several activities I have used to reach out to my siblings.

• We girls like to dress in nice clothes and take pictures together outdoors. My sisters really enjoy having an afternoon to play around with different styles and fun poses.
• We will go into the kitchen and bake something together. Two of my sisters, brothers, and I really enjoy searching for healthy, fun and tasty recipes to make for the family.
• We enjoy going outside and playing sports together, as well as practicing different forms of gymnastics. It makes a great work out and often produces laughs among us, as one sibling will do a couple of flops!
• I will dig out all of my old dolls and their accessories and then build a house out of chairs, pillows, and bins for my youngest sister to play with. Often a little water in a cup for tea, some music of her choice playing and the freedom to wear one of my pretty dresses makes her very happy!

• Four of us can play piano and we enjoy each taking a section of the piano keyboard to play duets together.  Because we all have different styles and ideas, our combinations can be quite interesting!
• We all enjoy singing together. We will each take a part and experiment with different songs and instruments. Two of my younger sisters and I enjoy singing while one of us plays fiddle and my brother plays guitar.
• I personally love any drama or play and have taught my younger siblings to do the same! Whether acting out a play we have written or a story we have read, it is always fun to dress up and pretend different periods in history.
• My older brothers each have very unique personalities and views on different subjects. Taking the time to listen to chick brooder plans or about a gun they hope to buy can certainly make their day. After a long day of college or work, I can minister to them by listening as they talk. This encouragement opens up many doors and they will come again for input.

Sisters Danielle & Leah H.

I am not perfect; however, I can truthfully say that I enjoy being with my younger siblings. I am the most happy when all six of us girls are together, having fun! Do not be discouraged and think it is too late for your relationship to improve – start changing your own heart and reactions and you will be amazed at how your siblings will respond. Continually thank God for your younger siblings and be a “door opener.” We serve an awesome God who extends grace and mercy to all – follow Jesus’ example as you seek to love your brother and sisters. “Being found in fashion as a man, [Jesus] humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:8).

Olivia Marie Meggs (15)
fourthborn of ten children

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by Naomi Watt

This month, KBR is hosting an “Encourage Your Siblings Challenge.” Throughout we are posting articles written by other sisters with ideas on how to invest in and encourage our siblings. As you take the challenge this month, we would love to hear what projects YOU have done together with your siblings. Email your ideas to us to share with other KBR readers!

Are you your brothers’ seeker? My purpose is to inspire you to a higher goal for relating to and seeking encouraging relationships your siblings. Good relationships don’t automatically happen; they take work, and you only get out of them what you put into them. Keep in mind that “every wise woman buildeth her house” (Proverbs 14:1).

Paul desired for the Colossians that their hearts be “knit together in love” (Colossians 2:2); and we are warned that “He that loveth not his brother abideth in death” (1 John 3:14). You have a responsibility to everyone around you (“Whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea” Mark 9:42), especially to the ones God has put right in your reach.

“Seeking” our siblings implies desire, purpose, and effort on our part. This may not be easy. It takes work. You must go out of your way to do it. Your focus must be off of yourself and your own plans; you must want to know your siblings, and you must diligently give all of yourself for your siblings’ good, edification, and to bring honor to the Lord. “Be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous…knowing that ye are hereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3: 8,9). “Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works” (Hebrews 10:24). Jesus gave His all when He sought us; how can we do less? Therefore, seek and pursue your sibling relationships with all of your heart.

Do you truly love your siblings for their sakes’, or is there some selfish ambition in your heart, some self-glory that is the motivation for your love toward them? Is there something you want to get out of or from your family members? It is very easy to fall into the trap of serving others in order to build yourself up. However, in seeking others, self must be crucified. As Paul said: “for I seek not yours, but you” (2 Cor. 12:14). “For we are glad, when we are weak, and ye are strong: and this also we wish, even your perfection” (2 Cor. 13:9; also 1 Cor. 10:33). How important are your siblings to you? “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God” (Colossians 4:12). You know the story of Abraham and Lot; Abraham went to great lengths to honor his brother, and to seek peace, much to his own inconvenience. He said, “Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee…for we be brethren” (Genesis13:8). Let that be our watchword!

I fall in the middle of the line of siblings in my family, so I know how it is to be both the ‘little kid’ and, now, an older sister. Recognizing the importance of the responsibility I have towards those who come after me has put me face to face with how I must be seeking God out of a pure heart, for by seeking Him, I will find the way to reach the hearts of my siblings. Ask God for a heart to see your siblings as He sees them!

When one of my older siblings chose the worldly path, I was told by someone that they didn’t know why I had let him go that way. At first, I thought that was quite an unfair accusation, especially since I am not his parent. However, after a little reflection, I saw that indeed, I had not set myself to fervently pray for him, encourage him in righteousness, or seek him out in his spiritual walk. There are so many things I could have done that may have built him up and could have turned him from the choices he made. Granted, in the end it is every man’s choice which way he will go, but God has placed each of us in our individual families, and He does it for a reason. We are accountable to fulfill His purpose in building one another up. What positive influence might I have been able to wield in my brother’s life, had I not slipped from under the responsibility?

Another sister who has learned the hard way says,

“As I look back at the relationship I had with one of my brothers, who has now rejected his Christian upbringing now chosen a different way of life, I feel deep regret for the opportunities I missed as his sister when we were growing up together. Our relationship tended to be light and silly, and I did not encourage him in his pursuits or dreams for life.  Tears flow from my heart now, as I see how the way I treated him then has contributed to his current lifestyle and the way he now deals with his wife. If only I had encouraged him, built him up, prayed for him, and sought a deeper relationship in the days we were given together… Although the past is done, I have learned from the mistakes I made and earnestly strive to invest in the lives of the siblings that still live at home. PLEASE, dear sisters, remember that your influence is so powerful in your siblings’ lives. The days we have together are soon setting – and will be forever past. Life is but a vapor. You do not want to look back with deep regret. TODAY is the day to make the choice to invest – do not wait until tomorrow.”

Friends, this is serious. Please, begin now to make it a priority to know and encourage your siblings; openly talk of spiritual things (how is God working in their lives?), gently press them toward Jesus, by word and example; pray diligently, carrying them daily to the feet of Christ. Beware of hypocrisy; you are being watched by your siblings. Do not be a stumbling block that keeps them from the Kingdom.

Sibling relationships are a wonderful “mission field,” – but it starts simply. Learn to know and love them. Develop strong, trusting relationships with them. And—never give up—for, as long as there is breath there’s hope, through Christ. Remember you cannot carry your burdens or make your siblings choose right. Once you have encouraged them and set an upright example, leave the results at the feet of Jesus, and pray unceasingly for them. “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). Psalms 55:22 says, “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

You may feel like you have been wandering around in a barren wasteland, or are stepping out on an uncharted course; but the key is that, you are found seeking to build your relationships. When you do these things in your family, showing that you love them, this gives you credibility when you need to speak truth into their lives where it really matters. They will hear you even when it hurts, because they know they are important to you—they will know you love them, and want what is best for them. “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1) It is indeed beautiful…begin now.

Naomi Watt (22)

Enjoy this month’s special computer desktop wallpaper:

by Emily Parish

This month, KBR is hosting an “Encourage Your Siblings Challenge.” Throughout we are posting articles written by other sisters with ideas on how to invest in and encourage our siblings. As you take the challenge this month, we would love to hear what projects YOU have done together with your siblings. Email your ideas to us to share with other KBR readers!

Emily with her younger siblings

“If there be therefore any consolation in Christ,
if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit,
if any bowels and mercies, fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded,
having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem
other better than themselves.”
{Philippians 2:1-3} 

Younger siblings are such a blessing! It is our responsibility as big sisters to invest in them wisely, and that can be done in many different ways…

In our Words and Attitudes

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). Sometimes it can be difficult to encourage our siblings because we “don’t feel like it” (“I’m having a bad day”), but we need to leave our self-focused feelings behind and reach a hand out to our siblings. A single word of encouragement takes only a couple of seconds, like, “Wow, you finished all your school early today! Great job!” or “I can see Jesus in you, when you share your favorite train with baby sister.” I have tried doing this when I am having an upset mood, and it melted my self-focused heart to see a huge smile spread across my brother’s face! Since such a little sentence means so much to my siblings, why don’t I do it more often?

In our Study of God’s word

I once invited my younger sister to do a Bible Study with me. Every other day we would read about a different woman of the Bible. We would talk about her strengths and her weaknesses together; we would underline verses and write down things in our special “Woman of the Bible” notebook. I tried to make it fun for her by having special snacks and hot tea while we read and providing crafts to go along with our study. We had an enjoyable time together, grew in our relationship with one another and with our Heavenly Father.

Another way to encourage our siblings is to slip a Bible verse in their school books or place one on their bed, and add a little “thinking of you” and “love you” note. A Bible verse is always a perfect way to give them some of God’s Word and show them you care.

My siblings have had a lot of fun acting out plays from Bible stories. Often performing for our parents or video taping for viewing later, makes lots of laughter and smiles!

In Prayer

“Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2). Praying with our siblings is a perfect way to encourage our siblings in the Lord. When we were younger, my oldest sister, Rebekah would always want to pray with me and my other older sister before we went to bed. I am so happy I have a sister like that! As a little girl, her joy and love towards the Lord encouraged me to search God’s Word more and not focus only on the things I wanted in prayer. She has inspired me to encourage my younger siblings with shared prayer at bedtime.

In Song

“Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power. Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness. Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp” (Psalm 150:1-3).

I like to sing praise songs with my younger siblings. This is an opportunity to be with your siblings, memorize Psalms, and praise the Lord together. When we praise the Lord, why not encourage our siblings to praise Him with us and to sing with all their heart to the Lord – and praise Him daily as they work and play?

In Work

“Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men” (Colossians 3:23). One day I wanted to make biscuits for the neighbors, but it was my turn to watch my two little sisters. Then I thought of an idea. I put them both on stools, got the cookie cutters out, and asked them if they would like to help me make a gift from the kitchen. After we were done, there was flour all over the kitchen floor and all over them! Even though the biscuits weren’t quite perfect, they had a blast and we were all able to bless the neighbors with our work.

While studying Asia, my sister Olivia (9) and I planned and served a Chinese breakfast for my family. We decorated the room with lots of homemade Chinese crafts. Her biggest pleasure was that “Big Sis” even dressed up in a qi’pao (Chinese dress) with her. Now she is asking me to do a foreign breakfast once a month!

“Feed bag races”

In Play

When you were younger, you liked to play – it might be playing baby dolls, a game of basketball, “feed bag races,” or fossil hunting – what it was, you always wanted a big sister/brother or Mommy and Daddy to do it with you, right? This is another way we can encourage our siblings, by spending time and playing with them. Try to keep in mind that each one of our siblings is very different. They have different ideas of interest and what is fun. So be creative and think of what they like doing, and make a fun project out of it.

Our siblings need our love and our encouragement. Instead of waiting for tomorrow, invest in the opportunities today! This is our responsibility as a sister. May God bless you as you encourage your siblings.

In Him Alone,
Emily Parish (14)

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