by McKenna Smith

When C.S. Lewis ’s wife, Joy, reminded him on her deathbed that their earthly happiness would soon end, he said he didn’t want to think about it. Joy replied, “The pain is part of the happiness. That’s the deal.”

Beloved sisters, pain is part of the deal. And hardship. And suffering. But so is beauty. And joy. And glory. Together they make something powerful, completely transforming. Something only God Himself can accomplish in us. And in order to perfect this glorious work, He uses the refining fire.

“And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on My Name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is My people: and they shall say, the Lord is my God.”
(Zechariah 13:9)

It takes a redeemed soul and redeemed eyes to see that this is the kindness of a Father Who loves profoundly. We might know in our minds that He does all things well, all for our good and His glory. We might say these truths aloud to ourselves and others. Do our souls trust the beauty and the glory and the perfecting work of the fire? Do we trust the One Who holds us in it and leads us through it, Who calls us His own?

Disappointment can look so many different ways in each of our lives. It shows up in the small (but greatly frustrating) moments in our days, or in our battles with chronic illness, maybe in the death of a dearly loved one, or in relationships that are less than perfect.

Without sugar-coating disappointment or discouragement, we can all agree that it hurts. Incredibly. That it can ache. Being able to say this, to admit the deepness of the pain is good. Because, remember, that this pain is part of the deal — part of what makes the whole process truly worthwhile. As we feel the pain of disappointment, and then as we turn that pain into praise, the fire does its purifying work. Dross rises to the surface, we become more like Jesus, our hearts find their rest in Him — in the midst of the fire.

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”
(James 1:2-4)

Is radiant joy possible in the midst of overwhelming suffering?

Paul certainly seemed to believe so, and our Lord says so through the apostle. We must only live like it, act on it, claim joy through our hope of the glory of God.

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope taketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”
(Romans 5:1-5)

Do not miss the source of our joy being hope or the source of that hope being love — love that is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost, a gift.

Our radiant joy is made possible by hope and by love. This joy reflects God’s glory — becomes, in fact, a part of that glory. As we become transformed from one degree of glory to another by the power and working of the Holy Spirit. “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Radiant joy is born as we behold God’s glory in the details.

Heavenly grace is on display in every small, beautiful thing filling your life and my life. As children of God, we have redeemed eyes to see it. As to whether or not we choose to see it — that is entirely up to us. Let me encourage all of us to begin by looking within the details (messy as they might be) of the circumstances surrounding us that are causing the disappointment. Begin there. Find God’s gentleness in the pain.

Some of my earliest memories take me back to sitting on my bed, splinter-pierced foot held up for my Daddy’s careful inspection. (I was one of those girls who determined shoes were for Sundays and shopping — thankfully, that opinion has since changed.) Daddy would take my foot gently in his hands, prepare the needle and tweezers, and remind me to be still or else it would hurt more than necessary. Some amount of pain was indeed necessary for the process to be complete, but Daddy would work his utensils with as much care and gentleness possible. I remained still, endured the pain, and proclaimed my Daddy a hero yet again — knowing full well that what pain he caused me, was inflicted in love and the utmost desire for my ultimate good. This love and this care multiplied by infinity is what our heavenly Father gives us every day.

So, let us, with hearts still and trusting, open our eyes to behold His glory and His grace and His gentleness in our moments of annoyance or agony. This is where gratitude is born.

Enjoyment of every precious moment.

Pain prepares our heart to enjoy all the small pleasures so much more fully. Gratitude takes on a whole new meaning as we find joy and delight in the smallest things. My life has been greatly altered by a chronic illness for two and a half years. Pain and exhaustion play a part in almost every day. So, the small things – a cup of tea, a good book, a warm bath, the laughter of those I love, prayers lifted up, hugs, worship, times when I am well enough to fellowship at church or go to the local market – these moments are precious. Don’t let the moments pass without realizing just how marvelous they are. And thanking Him.

The love of our Father dispels fear.

Has fear crept in with the pain of disappointment? If so, remember, GOD watches over the flames, making sure they do not consume, but only make us more like Jesus. Fear has no hold on those held by His LOVE.

“Can we think it pleases His loving heart
To cause us a moment’s pain?
Ah, no, but He sees through the present cross
The bliss of eternal gain.

So He waited there with a watchful eye
With a love that is strong and sure,
And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat
Than was needed to make it pure.”
—The Refiner’s Fire

Trusting God’s love means that we trust the way He works. Perfect love casteth out fear (1 John 4:18). Not only can we trust, but we can rejoice! Even as we are being poured out. “Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all. For the same cause also do ye joy, and rejoice with me” (Philippians 2:17-18). Paul willingly and joyfully offered up his entire life for the furthering of the gospel. Has it occurred to you that perhaps in this pain God is furthering His Kingdom?

When the pain and the fears press in around you, write Truth and pray Truth. James 1:2-4,12, 1 Peter 1:1-9, Psalm 33, and Romans 5:1-5 are some of my favorite go-to passages during such times. Begin by writing down the Truth. Stand in your weakness upon the Rock that is higher than us (Psalm 61:2), claiming His strength — His JOY as your strength (Nehemiah 8:10). And continue on, sisters. Do not let the devil’s lies take any place in your heart. Remember who you are as a beloved daughter of the King. Claim the victory He has already won for you.

“I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

Can you say this? Can I? Such a statement spoken from the lips of those who are suffering proclaims victory. Those who say this and mean it have found the depth, the meaning, and the glory in their trial. They see God’s grace in the details, they trust God’s goodness when they don’t see the why, and they choose joy over defeat. We can do this. One moment at a time. In His abundant grace, we can find joy that confounds the wise of this world. And in so doing, we shall point to the glory of our Father in heaven, Who does all things well (Mark 7:37).

In closing, beloved sisters — fellow daughters of God — seek the Face of JESUS. Humbly, brokenly, all your hurting places laid bare before Him. He promises to bind up and to heal. And in the end, what we need even in seemingly the darkest and most confusing of times, is truly simple.

“In the morning, when I rise,
Give me Jesus

When I am alone,
Give me Jesus

When I come to die,
Give me Jesus

You can have all this world,
Only give me Jesus.”

“They looked unto Him, and were lightened [or RADIANT]:
and their faces were not ashamed.”
(Psalm 34:5)

“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him.”
(James 1:12)

—McKenna Smith

Photography by Tirzah J.

---

Editor’s Note:

Next month’s December 2018 article will be the final forum post! It has been such a joy to look at God’s Word together each month! We’d love to hear from you in the comments below, dear sisters, and how we can be praying for you as we all near the closing of 2018 and look forward to entering a new year—2019!

by Amanda Hahner 

Over the years, the Lord has patiently and faithfully been teaching me much in the area of contentment, expectations, and trusting Him for my future.

During the past few years, I have looked on as the Lord brought a godly young man into my older sister’s life—they experienced a God-honoring courtship, got married, and have had two children! Though it has been an exciting time for all of us, it has also been a time of testing of my faith. Would I trust God to provide such a godly, upright man for me in the future, with seemingly no one on the horizon? Where could my future husband possibly come from? Will I be single for the rest of my life?

Trusting GOD’S goodness leads to peace

The Lord promises perfect peace to those whose minds are stayed on Him, because they trust in Him (Isaiah 26:3). The enemy wants to place seeds of doubt in our minds about God’s goodness and whether or not He has a plan for us. Sisters, our times are in His hands (Psalm 31:15)! How can we so doubt our Father’s ability to provide what is best for us? How can we doubt that the One Who formed the universe is able to provide a husband for us if He sees fit? How can we allow our faith to waver about God’s perfect plan for our future on this earth when His eternal plan for us was accomplished by sending His Son to die in our place?

The love of our FATHER conquers fear 

Our loving Father does not want us to live in anxiety and fear; He desires for us to trust Him fully and to rejoice in His goodness! Though we may not understand what He is doing in our lives right now, we can trust that all He does is for our good (Romans 8:28). As George Mueller once said,

“The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.”

Our God is mighty and powerful, and is able do beyond what we could even imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Though it results in our own pain, we are so quick to lean on our own understanding instead of choosing to rely on the Lord. Yet He desires for us to learn true faith in His mighty power.

Expectations ruin relationships

Another area that the devil wants us to give into is the area of expectations. We may have the picture of exactly what we think our future husband should be like, how we should meet him, what type of personality he should have, and even what he should look like. We can also tend to think that life will be so much better, or that we will have so much more direction in life when we get married. These expectations can be very dangerous, as we may cut off possibilities and opportunities the Lord has for us—and when our husband does not fulfill our expectations, then misunderstanding, anger, and bitterness can follow.

Only JESUS satisfies 

Another perilous expectation we can tend to have is that a husband can truly make us feel loved, fulfilled and happy. Though God has designed marriage for us to enjoy, absolutely no man could ever completely fulfill or satisfy our souls. A husband will at times disappoint us, but Christ will never disappoint. Truly, there is only one place that we can find completion, and that is in Christ alone (Colossians 2:10). Only He can bring true and lasting joy, as the Lover of our souls. He is the fulfillment of our deepest desires, and supplies all our need through His riches in glory (Psalm 73:26, Philippians 4:19, Lamentations 3:24-26).

Instead of looking to a man, we must seek true satisfaction from the Living Water, Jesus Christ (Psalm 107:9, John 4:13-14).

We must ask ourselves this: “What am I putting my hope and joy in?” If it is not the Lord, then we will never find true satisfaction. Everything else will fail us, but our God will never fail. “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore” (Psalm 16:11). May we long for Christ so much more than we do for a husband (Psalm 63:1-5)!

Psalm 84:11 promises that “no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Sisters, this is not a promise of a happy, romantic future. Instead, it is a promise that God will work all things out in our life for our good, and for His greatest glory! As I reflect back on the time of my sister’s courtship, I see clearly that my struggles were rooted in a very self-centered attitude. Because I was not fully trusting and resting in the Lord, I could not experience the fullness of joy He wanted me to have in rejoicing with my sister, or resting in His purposes for me during that season. It is when our eyes are on ourselves and how we wish things could be that we cannot see the special gifts and service the Lord has for us in the present.

“I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.”
(Psalm 16: 8-9)

For now, the “good” promised to you and I in Psalm 84 may be continuing to serve in our families, lightening Mom’s load, looking for a way to bless Dad, spending time with a sibling, making meals, or cleaning the bathroom; perhaps writing a letter of encouragement, ministering to someone who is lost, hurting, or in need. Maybe the purpose behind the “wait” is even the Lord simply wanting to teach us lessons of humility, love and servanthood! As long as we are diligently listening to His voice and obeying what He has called us to do, this is the good He has promised, and we can rejoice, knowing that we are bringing honor to His name (Psalm 40:8). We can have full confidence knowing that it is for our good, and for our sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3).

The other vital part of this is that we must be very careful to watch over our thoughts. Throughout our lives, we will undoubtedly meet various young men, and sometimes will wonder, “Could he be the ‘one’?” We must choose to be very guarded in our thoughts, and not allow them to be filled with fantasies and daydreams. As my parents have encouraged me in the past, it is positive to recognize and appreciate godly character in a young man; however, that does not give me an excuse to allow thoughts of him to pervade my heart and mind.

There have been times that I have struggled with this, and have wasted valuable moments and thoughts, instead of taking these thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

The Lord gently convicted me of this sin in my life, and has helped me by using a prayer target. If you struggle with your thoughts, I would encourage you to try this simple practice. Choose someone that needs prayer—for salvation, for spiritual or physical ailments, or any other need.

Whenever you struggle with thoughts about a certain young man, pray for the person or situation you have chosen. There is such power in choosing to fight against the devil’s tactics. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). The Lord has allowed me to experience such freedom and victory over these thoughts when I have simply used a prayer target (1 Corinthians 10:13).

So, is it wrong to hope for marriage and a family of our own? I believe that God places these desires in our hearts; however, He desires for us to completely surrender them to Him. Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines “surrender” this way: “The act of yielding or resigning one’s person or the possession of something, into the power of another.”

This is our high calling—to give our lives entirely to the Lord for His service. Any dreams and expectations we may have must be given over completely to the Lord, so that He can use us freely in the ways He sees as best.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”
(Romans 12:1)

Let us lay aside the sin that so easily weighs us down, and let us run the race before us with endurance, keeping our eyes on Jesus, Who is the Author and Finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:1-2)!

—Amanda Hahner

Photography by Acacia T.

by Hannah Williams

“And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee.”
(Psalm 39:7)

Hope is one of those things that can be difficult to define.

It’s one of those words that we constantly question, trying to figure out what it really is. Is hope an emotion I’m supposed to feel? Is it something I’m supposed to do? How do I get hope? How do I stay hopeful? But is hope as confusing as it really seems? I think not.

I’ve found that hope is a lot simpler than it appears to be. Simpler, because hope is not about us; it’s about God. Hope is the decision to accept where God has us in every area of life and to trust that He is faithful to give us all that we need. Hope is turning our eyes to the Lord and believing that all He says is true and that He will do as He says in His Word. That’s hope.

“Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word.”
(Psalm 119:114)

Whether we are on the top of the mountain or at the lowest valley, hope says, “God is with me, He is working on my behalf, He is sovereign over all things, He knows what’s best for me, and He is making all things right. I submit to His will and look expectantly forward to what He will do.” Hope knows who God is and what God is able to do. Hope knows the Lord has never once failed us.

Are you struggling with hope? Do you find yourself in a place of discouragement, depression, discontentment, joylessness, or lack of motivation? Here are three things to remember.

God Sees You

Just as God saw Noah in the ark, Joseph in prison, the Israelites in bondage, David being pursued by Saul, the widow woman with only one measure of meal and oil left, Esther in King Artaxerxes court, Daniel in the lion’s den, Jonah in the belly of the whale, Paul & Silas in prison, & countless millions of others, He sees you. “The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and His ears are open unto their cry” (Psalm 34:15).

God Hears You

God heard Hannah’s prayers for a child, the silent faith of the woman healed of an issue of blood, the malefactor’s request to remember him in Heaven. And He hears you too. “For in Thee, O LORD, do I hope: Thou wilt hear, O Lord my God” (Psalm 38:15).

God Knows Your Need

God knows what’s best for you right now and He will not withhold any good thing from you. “…but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing” (Psalm 34:10). Sometimes that good thing is not what we had in mind. Or maybe it isn’t given exactly when we wanted it most. But that’s all the more reason to hope, when we know who our God is. He is all-knowing, all-wise, all-powerful, ever-present, and always faithful to His plan and purposes for us in Christ. “But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Phillippians 4:19).

As A.W. Pink in his book, The Attributes of God, so eloquently states:

“Well might the saint trust such a God! He is worthy of implicit confidence. Nothing is too hard for Him. If God were stinted in might and had limit to His strength we might well despair. But seeing that He is clothed with omnipotence, no prayer is too hard for Him to answer, no need too great for Him to supply, no passion too strong for Him to subdue; no temptation too powerful for Him to deliver from, no misery too deep for Him to relieve.”

How do we apply these awesome truths to our own lives?

We do feel and experience hope in powerful ways — when we choose hope above despair, peace over anxiety, delight instead of discontent. We are commanded to not let our hearts be troubled. We are given a powerful choice.  JESUS desires our peace and our hope far more than we ever could. He gives it to us as He would a precious give.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
(John 14:27)

We remain full of hope — when we remain fully abiding in our LORD. He promises to make us full of joy with His countenance (Acts 2:28). He promises to fulfill our heart’s desire when we are delighting in Him (Psalm 37:4). Do we trust these promises? Do we bank on them? In every small moment of every day? Daily, we either choose to rest our anxious minds and weary souls in His loving hands, standing firmly upon His promises. Or, we choose hopelessness — which is in essence, a life without GOD. Which will it be today?

“It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.”
(Lamentations 3:26)

Remember His goodness in the past. Don’t forget in the hurry of life to look over your shoulder at all the mercies of your heavenly Father. He has accomplished great things in your life. And the work will not end here. He promises to finish what He has started, to make beautiful His chosen bride. Marvel at His hand in the past in order to face the future with hope.

“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
(Philippians 1:6)

“That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.”
(Psalm 78:7)

This is our HOPE: the goodness, mercy, love, faithfulness, and power of our great God. Remind yourself of this the next time you’re tempted to lose hope.

How about you? How do you remind yourself of God’s trustworthiness and find hope in Him? Share below!

—Hannah Williams

Photography by Krista H. and Jessica N.

– by Ashlee Dysart 

Hello sisters! Do you ever wonder why God gave us so many different emotions? They can be kind of confusing, right?

The truth is that we were designed to be emotional and sensitive. God gave us different feelings and emotions for us to use to glorify Him. Sometimes dealing with our emotions can be hard. We all desire to be joyful and happy, but some days we just want to curl up and cry. Being emotional is normal; again, we are designed to be that way! It’s the way we use our emotions that is either pleasing or sinful to God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says that we are to do everything for God’s glory. Our emotions definitely have a big say in the way we think or do things. Let’s talk about some of the more common emotions we experience and see how we can use them to glorify God.

Anger

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”
(Ephesians 4:26)

Be angry and do not sin – is that even possible? Human anger is self-centered. It is rooted in our fleshly desires and demands, and it is not at all what Paul had in mind when he told us to be angry and sin not. Paul was speaking of righteous anger. To have righteous anger is to be angry at what makes God angry. For example, when the Israelites violated their covenant with God and made a golden calf (Deuteronomy 9:13-14, 20). As fallen humans, we tend to get more frustrated over offended pride than the marring of God’s glory. We get so focused on our little irritations and frustrations that we lose sight of God’s holiness.

If you struggle with anger, I would encourage you to confess it before the Lord and seek His grace for the battle.

Fear

Fear is something we all struggle with. Maybe it’s a fear of what others think, or worry that we will never get married, or being scared of the dark. Everyone, if they are honest, is a little worried about something. The thing is, fear prevents us from living peacefully in the now. It distracts us from living the life God planned for us. When we worry and fret, it is like we are telling God that we don’t trust Him and His plan for our lives. We think that once we pass this test or get married then all our fear will be gone – WRONG.

When that test goes away or we put the wedding dress in a box, we will find something else to worry about because nobody can get over fear without God. Only when we learn to trust in Him and lay all our hopes and fears at His feet, will we experience the freedom of an anxiety-free heart.  

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He might exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.”
(1 Peter 5:6-7)

Silliness

This is a tricky one, sisters. It is hard to find the line between fun and foolishness. As young Christian ladies, we are called to be an example of our Savior everywhere we go! Proverbs 9 is a wonderful chapter highlighting the differences between wisdom and foolishness. It is an excellent guide to determine if our silliness or fun-loving behavior has gone too far. For example, verse 6 says, “Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.” Are you being silly just because your friends are? Just because they do it, doesn’t mean it is right.

Evaluate your actions and speak up (graciously) if what is happening is wrong. Verse 13 states that “A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” Clamorous means “loud noise”. Are you talking too much or being loud in order to draw attention to yourself? There are many other examples in just this one chapter of what a foolish woman is. Compare your actions to those in the chapter and see if they are foolish (drawing attention to self) or God-honoring (pointing to the holiness of Jesus).

Sadness

Sadness is a common emotion; we have all felt sad. Maybe when someone you love has fallen sick or if a friend has to move away. Being sad helps us sympathize with people. It’s the beginning step in knowing what it is to be comforted and to comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

At times the emotion of sadness can turn into a battle against depression. Being sad over something we did wrong or the way someone laughed at us can quickly turn to depression if we do not bring these things before the Lord, trusting in His grace. We start to think negatively of ourselves and others, believing the subtle lies of Satan. We shut out those who care and even shut out God. If you notice that you are often thinking negatively about life, not wanting to talk to others, and/or avoiding seeking God, speak to someone. I know it can be difficult, but depression is not something to be treated lightly; talk to your parents or a close mentor.

If you realize depression is something you struggle with, I would encourage you to read the Word, discover the promises of God, and claim them as your own. Also, whenever you start to have negative thoughts, say aloud, “Get behind me, Satan.” Depression is one of his tools and he uses it plenty. Tell him that you will no longer listen to his lies and that you have God’s enduring love and unfailing promises.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
(James 4:17)

Joyfulness

Joy – it is probably the most wonderful emotion we experience!! God has given us joy that we may praise Him and tell others of His goodness (Psalm 47:1). Too often our circumstances affect our joy; when everything is wonderful, it is easy to be joyful and happy. But this is not true joy; our joy comes from the Lord, and is not dependent on circumstances. True and abundant joy enables us to rejoice even in the hardships and struggles of life.

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.”
(James 1:2-3)

Remember — emotions are a gift!

How are we going to use them? To fulfill selfish desires or bring our Jesus glory? Sisters, I would encourage you to embrace the emotions He has given you, but instead of allowing them to direct and control you, you must direct them. Channel them in order that they might fulfill His purposes.

As you surrender to Christ all of your mind, body, and soul, He will show you how to honor Him one day at a time. Let’s delight in His good gifts – including emotions! Let’s glorify Him through them!

– Ashlee