by Sarah Lee Bryant

Do you sometimes wish you had a good friend? Do you wonder why you don’t “hit it off” with anyone?

Or maybe you’re disappointed that there are no “likeminded” girls in your area?

I think we all have been in those places! I know I certainly have!

The truth is, we have a natural human desire for companionship. Although our loving Father has graciously put many special people in our lives, they can’t fulfill our heart’s deepest desires. They can’t always be available to listen to our woes and needs, understand our feelings, or always comfort and encourage us.

In fact, no one on earth can. Only our Creator and Savior Jesus Christ can satisfy our heart’s deep desires! Our hearts were made by Him and for Him, and as Augustine said:

“You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they can find rest in You.”

When our hearts have been filled by Jesus and we are complete in Him, then we will be equipped to be a channel through which Christ can spread His love to others. And then, we will be able to develop friendships that will sharpen one another and be based upon the Lord!

You see, that “friend” you’re looking for may be in disguise. You’re looking for someone who is a certain age and looks a certain way and has certain interests (of course, the same ones you have).

But, sisters, let’s just admit—that’s a rather selfish outlook on friendship!

God has a solution:

“Look not every man on his own things,
but every man also on the things of others.”
(Philippians 2:4)

Instead of waiting for the “perfect somebody” to come to you looking to be a friend, try a different approach. Look for opportunities to reach out and bless and serve others. Invest in other girls’ lives. Initiate conversations and be genuinely interested in what God is doing in the lives of others…even if they are not your age or have similar interests!

Here are five ways I’d like to challenge you to minister to other girls!

1. Initiate the conversation. Have you ever really talked to that little girl at church or reached out to the quiet woman who always sits alone? Maybe you aren’t quite sure what you have in common. Find out! Go out of your comfort zone: be interested in her life and find out what her interests are. Use that as a springboard to show that you care about her, and be consistent to initiate conversations when you can!
2. Pray for her. Maybe you do not know a certain girl very well, but would like to bless her (even if you haven’t quite found “what makes her tick” quite yet). Put her on your prayer list! If you have the opportunity, you could ask her for any specific prayer requests she might have. It is such a blessing to know someone is praying for you!
3. Remember her birthday. I remember years ago, when I received a birthday card from an acquaintance. I was shocked that she remembered my birthday—and cared enough to send me thoughtful wishes. We are friends to this day—her thoughtfulness meant so much! Keep a birthday calendar and have a ministry of sending birthday cards with an encouraging Scripture verse.
4. Invest the Word of God in her life. Text an encouraging verse here and there, meet her out for lunch and read a passage together or work memorizing Scripture together, or keep one another accountable for Bible reading or Scripture memory.
5. Do normal activities together! Invite her to do something normal with you one afternoon. Whether it’s baking, sewing, playing instruments, studying the Bible, walking—these normal daily things can be a great way to spend time together and encourage one another. Your conversations don’t always have to be about deep theological issues (although these conversations are great!)—they can also be uplifting and fun!

As you invest in others, you may be surprised at how God blesses and sharpens you! And you may never know what an impact your efforts to “be a friend” can have in their life. Friendships that cross the age gap are sharpening both spiritually and emotionally. Learn to relate to others in various seasons and walks of life, and to recognize God at work in their hearts!

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.”
(Matthew 25:40)

Have you ever been blessed by someone in a special way?

What did they do that encouraged you? Maybe that will give you more ideas of how you can bless other girls! We’d love to hear what ideas you may have.

If you’re interested in writing a guest post for KBR Ministries, click here.

This Month’s Desktop and Smartphone Wallpaper

by Andrea N.

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”
{1 Corinthians 13:4-6}

If you don’t know her now, she is someone that you probably have known in the past. She is a girl who laughs loudly, dresses inappropriately, and is obnoxious.

While our first reaction may be repulsion, the truth is that she needs love. Most often, love is the very last thing we want to give. Though we may not admit it, to you and me, a girl like this seems irritating, and sometimes just plain wicked!

However, honestly, we are the first to need a change of heart. We must realize that the thing a girl like this needs most is love, and that if we were in her place, we would want someone to reach out and encourage us. But how do we change our mindset from that of disgust, to a mindset of love?

We must first understand that “but for the grace of God” I would be her. It is not of my own power or goodness, but because God in His wisdom chose to place me in a Christian home and give me salvation.

“By the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace
which was bestowed upon me was not in vain.”
{1 Corinthians 15:10} 

I am blessed to work on a church bus route and bring folks of all ages to our church each Sunday morning. Through this ministry, I have been able to meet several girls, and I get to see some of the “why” behind the way they act. I visit her home each Saturday. I have heard her parents yell at her. I have smelled the filth and seen the clutter in her home. All this leads me to realize two things.

First, there is a reason behind her behavior. She is loud, not only to get attention, but also to try to block out some of her world. She dresses atrociously to get attention and maybe just to fit in. She doesn’t even feel like she fits in in her own home. She is clingy because she feels that she has found someone who truly thinks of her as a person and she is starved for that love.

Secondly, I see that she is in desperate need of love. At some point, I had to come to the realization that God put these girls in my path for a reason. He doesn’t want me to turn my back to their need. It is more comfortable for me to stick with my little group of friends, but the Christian life isn’t about our personal comfort. Jesus certainly stepped out of His comfort zone when He died on the cross.

“Above all these things put on charity,
which is the bond of perfectness.”
{Colossians 3:14}

That being said, what are some practical ways we can reach out to these precious souls?

Smile straight at her. You will be delighted at the beautiful countenance you can pull from a seemingly hard, sullen girl. It sends a message that you care.

Take an interest in her. Fire questions until you find a subject she will talk about. Once she starts talking, listen! Try to have an interest in the things she is talking about, even if you don’t have an interest in it! (If the subject is inappropriate, gently lead the conversation elsewhere.)

After you have won her confidence, you can start encouraging her in the Lord, but do not “preach.” One of the best times to encourage is when she asks you a question. When she says, “Why do you wear skirts?” Explain that you use the Bible as your foundation for everything including dress, or that you desire to honor your parents’ standards, or whatever direction you need to take it. Direct any question into the plan of salvation. If she is saved, a good way to encourage and direct the conversation is to ask about her Bible reading. That accountability is so important.

Let us not be classified is as “Christian snobs.” If others don’t see Jesus in us as His daughters, where else will they see Him? So the next time you feel repulsed by a worldly girl, let me encourage you to try to reach out to her instead. May God bless you as you show His love!

“Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.”
{Matthew 25:45}

-Andrea N. (19)