KBR Ministries » Forum | Encouraging Girls to Grow in their Walk with Christ

November 1, 2011 KBR Ministries Leave a comment

Praising the Lord together

Amidst a whirl of activity in their home, Anne tried futility to regain composure in instructing her six younger siblings. The day before, her parents had left to go on a short vacation together; while she was joyful at the chance of making their time away possible, the mess in the living room, the food plastered on the walls, and the unruly toddlers were certainly quickly wearing away her patience. Desperately, she called her younger sister to assist the baby.

Then the telephone rang. With a sigh, she answered, and was surprised by sorrowful sobs of a dear friend. Hushed out of her own weary complaint of her home’s disarray, Anne wondered what had happened, and her friend relayed the shocking news. “Last night, two mothers in my community were driving home together from their fellowship meeting. It was storming severely as they neared home. With such terrible visibility, an oncoming car hit them in a head-on collision and killed both mothers instantly!” Anne’s mind trembled and her eyes filled with grief and shock. Thirteen children now motherless?

__________________________

Anne looked around her home, at her vibrant and healthy siblings, godly parents, and in awe wondered how her Heavenly Father would see fit to bless her so tremendously. Even more amazed, she remembered the sacrifice and suffering Christ bore when He took upon Himself the wrath of God for her sins. The words of an old hymn came to mind as she bowed her head with tears in her eyes, and praised the Lord for His incredible benefits.

“O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing,
My great Redeemer’s Praise,
The glories of my God and King,
The triumphs of His praise.

My gracious Master and My God,
Assist me to proclaim,
To spread thro’ all the earth abroad,
The honors of Thy name.”
{Charles Wesley}

As I shared in in May 2011, the more I have learned about our God and His mercy, the more I fall to my knees in humble thankfulness for all He has blessed me with. When I go outside every morning, I am surrounded by the most marvelous handiwork of a powerful, all-wise Creator (think of how our world is sovereignly ruled, from the affairs of greatest nations, down to the tiniest atom, by Christ our Savior). Have you ever realized the blessings of our world…

-being inhabitable, unlike every other planet in our solar system
-maintains hospitable temperatures and habitats to sustain human life
-births fresh and nutritious foods that contain just the vitamins and minerals that we need to survive
-is painted with vibrant and diverse colors (right now in bright leaves and clear blue skies)
– doesn’t look like some flat surface that has just been obliterated!

All of these incredible facts are not just chance happenings, but manifestations of God’s mercy toward us! The fact that I woke up this morning free of guilt, and still breathing, is proof of God’s mercy and blessing, in that He should have killed me in justice to the sins I committed yesterday – that is His pure mercy. You see, when we realize how righteous GOD is, how sinful and wormy WE as man are, and that yet God is restrained by HIS own righteous character, we are more and more awed.“For I the LORD love judgment, I hate robbery for burnt offering” (Isaiah 61:8).

Sisters, I want to exhort you to remember this truth and go through your days with this perspective of humble gratitude. Remember how much you have been given and how many blessings lay before your eyes. Remember the more destitute families and children around the world who have not a fraction of what you do materially. Think of those who have lost parents or family members due to accidents or sickness. “I will mention the lovingkindnesses of the LORD, and the praises of the LORD, according to all that the LORD hath bestowed on us, and the great goodness toward the house of Israel” (Isaiah 63:7). Do not take your life for granted or overlook God’s precious blessings.

“Exalt the LORD our God,
and worship at his holy hill;
for the LORD our God is holy.”
{Psalm 99:9}

challenge to thankfulness
Decorate a little basket or jar and set it on your bed stand. Every day, write the blessings God has given you on small papers and store them in that jar. Whenever you feel discouraged, read these recordings of God’s past faithfulness and recall the goodness of God, inspiring faith and trust in His mercy once more.
This month, I am taking a challenge with other KBR readers to thank the Lord for 7 things each day that I am thankful for. In the past, this exercise has challenged me to look back over what God has done throughout the hours for me, and to look around every corner for His blessings. What better time to exercise thankfulness than with the wonderful Thanksgiving holiday approaching?! You are invited to join us November 1-30.

Let us join the hosts in praising our God daily for His benefits!!

“O come, let us sing unto the LORD:
let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving,
and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God,
& a great King above all god.”
{Psalm 95:1-3}

Joining a Thousand Tongues in Praising Our King,

n o t e » As we approach the end of this year, I’d love to hear your suggestions for our forum. Do you have any new ideas or would you like a new format in 2012, such as Q&A, guest writers, different topics, practical tips or recipes, or even challenges? Would you be willing to contribute to a future month’s article? Please give me your opinion as we prayerfully plan into the year of 2012. ~Sarah

2 c o m m e n t s »

susan » It does us good to remember that others have troubles just as we do. “I had the blues, because I had no shoes, until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.” That helps us count our blessings! Thanks for your thoughts.

martha joy »Thank you so much, dear Sarah Lee, for the wonderful reminder! What a great article! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Love you! ~ Psalm 119:105

sarah lee » That quote is a very striking reminder, Susan! Martha, thank you – I hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving. Blessings to you both! Jer. 7:17

Walk With Christ

October 1, 2011 KBR Ministries Leave a comment

“Limiting my freedom in
order not to offend the tastes
of those whom God has
called me to serve.”
{IBLP definition of deference}

Greetings dear Sisters in the Lord!

I am so enjoying the beautiful, crisp weather the Lord has given us here in Kansas this month. It’s hard to believe it is already this time of year – it seems like spring was just yesterday. This is just a very needed reminder to me of how fleeting each day and season is. It spurs me to focus more deeply on my walk with Christ and to ask myself what needs growth.

This month, I’d like to share some thoughts on a topic that is rarely a strength for women – submission and deference. A result of a lack of this trait, the feminist movement has developed and a general decaying of our entire culture has quickened, for the choices women make have a great impact on the world!

This morning in my devotions with my heavenly Father, I was yet again struck with the importance of our calling as women. Some key words in 1 Timothy relating to women were a need reminder for me.

“I will therefore that men pray every where,
lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.
In like manner also, that women adorn
themselves in modest apparel…”
{1 Timothy 2:8-9}

I noticed especially that phrase, “In like manner also,” which I believe refers back to the previous verse which says that we should lift “up holy hands.” That sums up our calling as women – that we be holy and pure, submissive, lifted up as sacrifices of praise for the Lord. Holiness. What a comprehensive, all-encompassing term. Are we holy – undefined by the world in mind, thoughts, heart, deeds, appearance?

Further reading, verse 11 is a very stark command: “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” Taking God’s Word as truth in complete obedience, what a reminder – and don’t we women need it, who are so prone to talk and talk! – to humbly glean from the men in our lives and to joyfully sit under their authority, learning from what they teach. Women are more gullible and easy to be enticed, as we see from our first mother, Eve’s example, when she did not listen to her God-given authority, but decided to listen to someone else (the tempter), and to take his word for her command. “The serpent beguiled Eve…” (2 Corinthians 11:3) Hence the complete fall of mankind. “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16). The pain and sorrow and struggle that we find in submission is part of the curse.

Shouldn’t we as redeemed daughters of Christ seek to learn from this most grievous example of Eve and strive to obey His command to submit? Following are some things I have learned about submission, and not simply submission outwardly, but also submission of the heart – deference. That is the real key!

call to true submission

Submission is a choice.
The desires of our authority often will conflict with our own.
However, we must be READY
to give ours up and take theirs,
and in this obedience
to God’s commands,
we will find great fulfillment and blessing.

The more the Lord graciously grows me in His truths, the more I realize how much I must yet learn in being submissive – and find how difficult it truly is! True heart submission starts in our thoughts, hence our attitude. Since we are fallen creatures, we naturally want to resist authority. Am I the only who is tempted to scorn the advice of those wiser than myself at times? Or resist the authority God has placed over my life? This is not only a sin against my parents, but also rebellion against God Himself, for His will is that I honor my parents and submit to my authorities; when I resist, I am rebelling against the powers of protection He has ordained over me.

Maybe you can relate to one of these examples.

»Annie has a favorite shirt that is warm and comfortable. DUring the cold winter months, she wears it almost every day! One afternoon, her mom says, “You know, I really don’t like the way that shirt fits!” While she is not forbidding Annie from continuing to wear it, her comment is a hint and an opportunity for Annie to show deference toward her mom as her authority, by ridding her closet of its presence. Annie is faced with several choices: to ignore Mom’s comment; to complainingly throw it away, or to joyfully give it away with honor.

»Joyce is scrubbing the dinner dishes, wanting to practice a piano piece once she has completed her clean-up duties. Just when she was almost done, her dad walks in a suggests an outdoor exercise walk in the moonlight. While Joyce likes to walk and spend time with her family, she resists the change in her plans and she struggles to willingly join the family for the walk. Will she choose to lay aside her plans and enjoy this special time, or will she balk and drag her feet?

My sister, we daughters face these kinds of decisions almost every day, don’t we? So what do we do when the desires and plans of others conflict with our own? Will we gladly, in a heart of joyful surrender to the will of CHrist, give up our own desire, or will we resist? How do we develop a true heart of submission?

Well, in all honesty, we can’t. We are sinful, fallen humans outside of the changing work of the Holy Spirit. Thus, we cannot learn any good thing outside of His enabling power! The only thing we can do is to fall down on our knees, realizing that we are failing in His calling to submit to our father and mother, and knowing that He has called us to do so (“Honour thy father and thy mother” –Ex. 20:12), admitting that we are sinning against His Holy name, and express our desire to honor Him. Then we must cry out to Him to take our heart of stone away and renew it to be moldable and submissive to His will, which in reality is honoring and submitting to our parents.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as it is fit in the Lord.”
{Colosians 3:18}

My prayer these past few months, my desperate cry to my merciful God, has been for just this – for the Lord to change my hard heart, for I have found over and over again how I fail. How often am told to do something – or simply hear the desires of my authority which happen to conflict with my own will – and bend my back backwards in resistance (in my heart). Most of the time of course, I don’t actually rebel outwardly, but nevertheless that lack of submission is still there, and you better believe God sees it! It is still a terrible sin. Thus, I rely on my faithful Father to change me. However, there are some choices that I do have to take toward growth.

keys to submission
When an unsubmissive thought or attitude crops up, here is how I am striving to train my mind to viciously attack my sinful thoughts:

»Turn from my sin – know it is wrong.
“Oops! That thought/attitude certainly was not submissive.”

»Confess it to God – ask for forgiveness immediately
“Lord Jesus, help me! I am not honoring your name or being submissive!”

»Ask for a changed, broken heart – even if I maybe do not want it at that moment, I know I need it; He can work in me when I ask for it
“Heavenly Father, I am resisting authority and my heart is hard; please, in your mercy, melt my will to fit your mold!”

»Be quiet – don’t further the sin by letting it come out in words, actions, or a bad attitude. If needed, go to another room and pray, until that lump of resistance dissolves from my throat and the Lord has dominion over my will

We must develop a habit of this because submission is going to be a life-long struggle for all of us, sadly. We were born with the sin nature and it is not leaving anytime soon (not until we reach Heaven!), but as Christ Jesus works out His perfect work of sanctification in our lives, it definitely can be lessened as each day goes by and we stop to ask for His power.

I know it is vital that I really attack my sins now because weeds only grow larger – thus, harder to extract. Furthermore, a wife is called to reverence her husband and she cannot do that if she is not submitting to him. If God calls me to be a wife someday, I wish to obey God’s command to honor and submit to my Head, my husband, that the Word of God be not blasphemed. “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:5). And it will not be any easier then than now, so what better time to start plucking away at that nasty sin?

steps to submission
Let’s gather our hoes and shovels – or swords if that is what it requires! – and attack the weeds in our heart and pray for humble, willing hearts that are pliable to His will – not stiffly set upon our own!

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder.
Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility:
for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”
{1 Peter 5:5}

Remember that God giveth grace to the humble but resisteh the proud! A submissive heart is a heart of gold. God bless you dear one!

Falling Before His Throne,

3 c o m m e n t s »

samantha»Thank you for sharing your heart with us this month, Sarah!
Your thoughts on submission really spoke to my heart. I feel this is an area which God has really been speaking to me this year. For me, submission has gotten easier in some ways over the years as I’ve grown up and “matured”. But it’s also gotten harder as I grow older as well. God has shown me that it all starts in the heart. And sometimes submission means sacrifice too.

tessa» Your Monthly Thought was really encouraging and thought provoking. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to share with us. I really appreciate it. “May God be gracious to you and bless you and make his face shine upon you.” Psalm 67:1

martha joy » Thank you so much for this, Sarah Lee! As always, you have been such an encouragement to me through this month’s article. Thank you for being what you are for me, Sarah! In Him, Martha Joy (Psalm 69:16)

sarah lee »Thank you so much, dear Samantha, Tessa and Martha Joy, for your thoughts on this topic. It’s a blessing to hear of your own journey in this area of submission. It certainly seems to be on-going for me! I pray God blesses you and keeps you diligently walking in His perfect ways as you seek Him – Psalm 66:16.

Family Relationships

September 1, 2011 KBR Ministries Leave a comment

Bryant Men

“Why should not a sister look to her own brother for counsel,
for protection, for advice…rather than to any other?
Why should not brothers be proud to have their own
sisters’ lean upon their arms,
and why should not sisters be proud to look up
into the faces of their brothers
and feel secure in the shelter of their manly love?”
{J.R. Miller}

This quote from Homemaking casts a wonderful, biblical vision for brother-sister relationships. I am so blessed with four brothers, and this vision is one I pray toward — that each of us would be challenged and supported by one another!

This month, two of my younger brothers have a birthday—in fact, on the same day. They were born two years apart, and though they are very close, how different their personalities and interests are! What a marvel God’s ways are and the unique differences even within a family.

About two years ago, I shared about the unique journey the Lord set me on, discovering how to treat my younger brothers as they mature and become men. This is an on-going process, and I know that those of you who have both younger and older brothers can relate to the learning process of dealing honorably with brothers. I would like to share with you sisters some things that the Lord has been teaching me in this regard.

Birthday Brothers
I love you, Nathan and Jonathan!

Recently, I was encouraging a friend that the time we siblings have together really is so very short in the grand scheme of things. You might be twelve with possibly another ten years to dwell with your brothers, or you might be twenty-two, and your younger brother is on the brink of establishing his own home and family—whichever case, our days together in our parents’ home are numbered. In reality, we are promised not another day together, for the ways of the Lord are unknown! Like the fleeting seeds of a dandelion, blowing any minute, are the days of our youth. As sisters, we truly have so little time to bless, support, pray for, challenge, and respect our brothers before they are called by the Lord to their respective places in society. They will be the future leaders of our country, for God calls His people to faithfulness and leadership; His church establishes the spiritual “temperature” of a people group. Are you, with knowledge of the nearing end of this potent opportunity, investing with all your heart and strength in your brothers’ lives with love?

“Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father,
and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind:
for the LORD searcheth all hearts,
and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts:
if thou seek him, he will be found of thee;
but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.”
{1 Chronicles 28:9}

My brothers are stalwart young men and I am so proud of them, and I realize that in only a few short years it will be their time to follow the Lord’s leading wherever He sends. This has driven me to fervently prayer for my brothers’ spiritual growth in wisdom, for guidance in their life goals and callings—for the blessing and honor of being men of God!

While I realize this, I have also been learning that the “standard” I lay for my brothers is extremely important. The comments I make about certain things, decisions, or even professions, is shaping their view of the world and what is “noble.” It is not my responsibility as a sister to “make sure” my brothers “turn out” a certain way or look a certain way or meet up to a certain list of standards. That is solely their responsibility with God, but my place fits in with encouraging them“toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14).

To my immense relief, the Lord showed me that this one goal for them—pleasing Him—is actually is very simple: loving God with all their hearts, souls, and minds. Nothing else really matters in comparison! It doesn’t matter so much as what enterprise they invest in or what they wear, but this simple thing is what is ultimate—that they love the same Lord Jesus I do!

When I realized this, I felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from my back—unknowingly, I had carried a burden thinking, “What if __ doesn’t do __ when he grows up or look like __ ?” These thoughts or expectations are wrong; I didn’t really realize what I was inadvertently doing: setting up an unrealistic and unfair standard for my brothers which they should not and will not attain, if they are seeking to obey God alone (not conform to someone or something).

My prayers for my brothers are no longer “a list” but one humble petition to my heavenly Father on their behalf: “Lord, please instill in my dear brothers a huge enveloping love for You, a steadfastness in You so strong that they are willing to do whatever you will to glorify You alone in a strongly opposing culture!”

With this prayer, I am seeking to further encourage my brothers toward this one goal…to love the Lord their God with all their hearts and to enjoy Him forever. This has spurred me to more diligently work on the following areas in our relationships…

encouraging leadership
Lately, a friend shared how she has been striving not to tell her younger (teenage) brothers “to do” anything; instead, she suggests and encourages them to see what needs to be done. This encouraged me to seek a new way of “being the oldest” here at home without “being the bossiest”! For example, when I am left “in charge” and have to keep the home running while my parents are away, I have been trying to change from telling my (older) younger brothers to do something, to explaining the need to them, and asking if they can solve it or ask another sibling to do the needed task. Instead of telling my youngest brother to do his chores, rather I can inform my other brother of the need and asking if he can encourage its completion. Of course every sibling group is different in age and maturity, but I believe that the principle can be applied with our “older” younger brothers so that they learn to be mature and aware of needs within their younger siblings. To those of you who have older brothers at home, I would encourage you to deflect the “authority” to them, so that he is encouraged to show discernment by your deference. Sometimes this can be hard, for often we girls tend to be bossier and might notice a “problem” before our brothers do. Stepping back and allowing our brothers to take the lead takes a little tight sitting, but after a few times it becomes more natural.

asking
Showing an interest our brothers’ projects and interests, even if we don’t understand the workings of that tractor or personally share that interest of hunting or know how to paint such an interesting scene, builds up our brothers. “Would you like me to read that book to you?” “Wow, what kind of truck is that?” “What Scripture verse did you memorize this week?” “Did you catch the coyote that is eating our chickens?”

listening
My brothers do not talk as much or share their deep feelings as often as I do, but when they do, it is important that I listen and really care! Even if it is just about their biggest Lego truck or latest dream or plans for the biggest-paper-airplane-in-the-west (which challenge my brothers are currently tackling), their stories and interests should be mine as well. Be there to talk and listen to your brothers!

encouraging
Go out of your way to encourage the men in your life even if sometimes you are discouraged by “annoyances.” Rather than criticize, bite your tongue and praise. Don’t forget to thank your brothers when they show kindness or deference for a lady. Encourage them in their hamburger grilling skills, their unique strengths and abilities. Instead of telling your brothers to do favors, you can gently encourage them to be more manly and aware of needs. Say something like, “This job needs a brother’s great bulging biceps’ assistance!” This goes a long way for our brothers’ self-esteem. If there was one thing I could do over in my brother-relationships, it would be to build up my brothers. It can be hard enough for them to be confident without a sister criticizing and tearing down. I weep knowing that in the past I have destroyed much potential because I did not praise and encourage my older brother. Those consequences cannot be reversed, but today my goal is to uplift and encourage my brothers in any way possible.

challenging
Challenge your brothers in reading the Word of God and memorizing it. As I mentioned, this truly is the most important area – that we encourage our family members to love our heavenly Father! This summer, my siblings and I all took a challenge together to read the Bible at least 15 minutes a day and memorize 1 verse a week. For my siblings, this was a great encouragement to have the accountability with friends (who they called every two weeks and recited verses to) and a wonderful thing to work towards together. It was such a joy for me to see them diligently seek God’s Word, because I know God will richly bless that diligence. We enjoyed the “summer challenge” so much that our family decided to do it again this fall, September 1-November 31. Us kids designed a chart and are embarking on another “quest” together. In fact, you can see the chart here if you are interested in using it or printing copies off for your siblings to do with you (please let us know if you are doing it with us – we’d love to know and pray for you!). Look for ways to gently prod your brothers in God’s truths and encourage their desire for Him!

praying
It is a high and mighty calling to be a strong manly Christian man in this culture of weakness. Prayer is incredibly powerful, and if we only knew how needed it is, how much more diligent we would be to approach the Throne in intercession for our family! I strive to pray often that my men would love the Lord and He would bless their efforts to seek Him, as Hebrews 11:6 promises. Let your brothers know you are praying for them and for their future!

conversing
This is definitely an area of learning for me. I noticed this year that I had a tendency to evade deep topics and only joke over day-to-day topics with some of my siblings. I realized all the interests (our faith in Christ being the most important) we have in common, things the Lord is teaching me through my Bible or in my theology classes, as well as the things they also are learning—why do I not engage my brothers in more mature topics? One day my brothers will have to think on, make decisions about, and talk to a wife and children about these things — why not encourage them to start thinking and communicating about these now? I can seek to spur on my brothers in maturity, so that someday when a puzzled or discouraged wife turns to them for guidance, or simply for a pleasant conversation, they are not empty-mouthed, clueless on how to proceed.

“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith,
quit you like men, be strong.”
{1 Corinthians 16:13}

most importantly
While most of these areas I have mentioned are more active methods of building up our men, one of the most powerful ways to spur on our brothers in Christ is just loving Jesus ourselves! Be diligent to read and study the Word of God, to truly and earnestly love it. Let them see your vigilant memorization of the Scriptures each morning and your earnest intercession for those in need. As you seek to love and know Jesus ever deeper, that excitement will splash out to those around you and will truly bless and challenge them. Don’t neglect this most important issue!

future of our men
I’d like to close with this challenging quote by J.R. Miller (Homemaking, chapter: “Brothers and Sisters”).

“There is a picture of a child walking on a path that is covered with flowers. Along the edge of the narrow way is shrubbery which hides from the child’s sight a deep precipice. The child is unconscious of danger, charmed by the flowers and not seeing how one misstep would hurl it to death. Over the little pilgrim’s head hovers a shadowy angel form, scarcely visible—but with eager, loving interest in his eye, while his hand gently touches the child’s shoulder; his mission is to guide the child’s steps, to shield it from danger and to keep it from falling. The picture represents a truth in the loving providence of God. There are angels who guard, guide, shelter and keep God’s children. They are ministering spirits. They keep us in all our ways. Over each one of us a guardian angel hovers unseen evermore. But there is also a most blessed angel ministry of sisters in behalf of their brothers.

There is no need to paint here any picture of the perils to which young men are exposed in this world… Every young man who enters life, enters a fierce battle in which no truce will come until he either lies down in final defeat or wins the last victory and enters into joy and rest…Next to mother and father, there is no one who can do so much to help a young man to live nobly, as his own sister.”

May we each realize and embrace this truth, spurring our brotherly “princes” in maturity and love for our precious Lord Jesus. Remember that your own brothers are the future leaders (whether politically or otherwise) of our society, and that as the remnant of God’s people, they will be called to lead forth the new generation of the Church. They will set the tone of the future, the growth, and the maturity of the Church. Know the honor this gives you in the privilege of building them up for this high calling. Today you are given an opportunity to invest in and inspire them to greater things for God’s glory! Are you ready? Let’s go!

“Be ye therefore very courageous
to keep and to do all that is written in the book of the law of Moses,
that ye turn not aside there from to the right hand or to the left.”
{Joshua 23:6}

Learning with You,

Femininity

August 1, 2011 KBR Ministries Leave a comment

“Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She looketh well to the ways of her household,
and eateth not the bread of idleness.“
{Proverbs 31:25-27}

The Johnson household busily prepared for their coming guests with vigor. Mr. Johnson had just arrived home and their mother was enjoying conversation with him, as the maidens of the home cheerfully whisked around gathering beautiful napkins, setting the table, while others made the finishing touches on dinner in the kitchen. A new family in their community was expected to arrive any minute, and the girls were happy to assist in their lively family’s hospitality. “Hurry! Make sure there are enough chairs around the table!” One reminded, while their brothers announced from outdoors, “They are HERE!” Taking off their aprons, the four sisters laughed at each other’s frantic last attempts, and they headed out the door to greet their new friends. What a joy it was to prepare their home for others’ enjoyment!

~:~~:~~:~

What a joy it is to be a daughter of the King, to be a part of the homes of our future leaders, and to share the joy of that privilege with others! Women have been given a unique and powerful role in the development of history. When I think of the strong men of the Faith and many great theologians and preachers, I wonder about their upraising and the discipline that they were given by their mothers. Their fathers played mighty roles as well in their formation, but their mothers probably spent a majority of the time during their young and formative years, training them up in God’s Word. What a mighty tool these women were, by tackling the tasks the Lord had called them to in daily discipline, femininity, and homemaking – making their home a godly abode and a place of engaging, productivity.

It is with joy and excitement that I look forward to doing this same thing, by God’s grace someday, if it brings Him ultimate glory. Likewise, it is such a blessing to have been raised in a godly home and to be a part of this productive and busy family life, where God’s Word is taught, where discipline is established, and where the godly duties of womanhood are extolled. My sister and I have sought to fulfill our roles in this sphere, both in preparation to the seasons to come when we may order our own homes, and also to serve and further the influential sphere of our family’s home today.

This month, I’d love to share some reminders and thoughts about increasing our skills at home as daughters, and displaying the joy of our femininity on a daily basis. Sometimes I need the reminder!

learning homemaking arts
It is a great asset if we learn to be efficient homemakers (assisting our mothers now) during our years at home. We can assist our mothers daily by both learning new skills that will flow the process more smoothly and also enable her to serve our father more. I am sure many of you have already learned many cooking and household duties which is wonderful! I am excited to see so many godly daughters who are learning the ropes of homemaking at an early age. But let us not become satisfied with “what we have reached.” Let us always seek other skills and ways to“worketh willingly with her hands” (Proverbs 31:13).

We can make it our continual quest to learn to serve more nutritious foods, be more efficient in meal preparation, learning to make toxin-free home cleaners, and the list goes on. Grow a little garden and make your family fresh dinners with fine herbs and tomatoes. Learn to make your own soap and laundry/dishwasher detergent. Below I will share my sister Rachael’s recipe for dishwasher detergent. Things like this are economical and also toxin-free – and safer to have in a home with children.

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent
1/4 cup salt
1 cup borax
1 cup baking soda
2 packages lemonade power without sugar (optional, to prevent caking)
Mix in jar and use in dishwasher!

Several times each year, I like to clean our house windows. This easy homemade cleaning recipe works very well.

Window Cleaner
3 c. rubbing alcohol
1 ½ Tbsp. dish soap
¾ c. water
Use in spray bottle and squirt on dirty windows. Wipe clean with dry washcloth.{See The Young Maid Compilation for more cleaner recipes and many other ideas for maidens!}

Always be looking for new skills to learn and explore. It is all too easy, as daughters at home, to “stop” seeking to learn. It seems for me, that I can become carried away with one particular project or skill and forget the rest of the waiting world of skills to learn! Sometimes it is helpful at the beginning of a school year or new year, to plan new skills to learn or research and explore – maybe assign one new skill or topic a month. Mom gave me a bread recipe a few years ago to try for the family. It did not end up filling our needs, so we didn’t continue it, but ideas and recipes like this can be tried by us as daughters. Our moms do not have the same time and freedom we do to learn new aspects, and in a few years if you are a busy mom, you too will not be able to experiment and find the most efficient means for running each aspect of a household. Learn now so you can apply later! If you are at a loss for new skills to explore, a neat handbook to read is Keepers at Home, which lists skills for a homemaker-in-the-making to seek out. This may get your creative ideas flowing.

Here are some starter ideas…

Summer Refreshments ~Calligraphy
~Cake decorating
~Candlemaking
~Cross Stitch
~Crocheting/Knitting
~Flower Arranging
~Gardening/Canning
~Home Decorating
~Hospitality
~Photography
~Quilting
~Pressing Flowers
~Scheduling
~Sewing Curtains; Men, Women, Children & Baby Clothing
~Stamping/Scrapbooking
~Witnessing
~Writing

having a meek and quiet spirit
Because we have a distinct role from men, we can move and talk in a fashion that is gentle and supportive of their manly distinctions. First Peter commands women to be meek and quiet – not loud or usurping of the man’s leadership. This does not mean that she never voices encouragement or opinions in conversations, but when she is given the opportunity within the context of other men present, she does so with quiet submission.

The tone of voice we have is so powerful. I have a hard time always remember this and am praying God would teach me gentleness in speech! Our tone should be gentle and kind. This is not only applicable in voicing our opinion, but also when kindly correcting others, sharing with siblings, and speaking to family members at all times. Our tone of voice conveys a lot more than we might expect! The same words can be voiced with an offensive, defensive, prideful, gloating, gentle, meek, kind, caring, or questioning tone – so maybe lower your tone of voice a notch and when talking with both younger and older siblings, change your statement/command into a question or suggestion. This goes a long ways in not coming across as bossy (especially for us older sisters :)!

lady is, lady does
It is so lovely to see a woman who moves graciously and femininely! Just to convey the idea I picture of femininity, here are some thoughts to consider – swinging arms wildly or making jerking movements tends to draw attention which is not appropriate in a public place. Subtle movements are a bit more feminine sometimes!

At the root of the matter, our attitude is a true indicator of whether our movements are feminine or not. Everyone is different and has different habits…just ask your self when you walk or move or play, are you moving in a way that you know is not natural and attracts unneeded attention? Or are you moving with humility yet dignity?

uplifting not downplaying
If we are truly joyful in our role as women, we realize how vital and powerful the role that men have also been bestowed. An attitude of honor will definitely be visible in our actions toward them, as well as our words. Snickering remarks or degrading comments will not flow from a heart of reverence, whether men “deserve” it or not. Our worldly culture degrades masculinity, and as we display respect and honor to all men in public or in the church, we never know when that “one act” of honor causes one to contemplate the God-given responsibility he has and the way he is leading his life or family.

feminine clothing
Here in Kansas, we usually have pretty hot and humid summers! Today as I write, it is almost 100 degrees. “What to wear” is always a question on my mind and I have a difficult time finding modest yet cool attire for the summer months. I love the cool autumn and winter months when layers are fun to match with sweaters and jackets – but summer seems just impossible sometimes!

Because this is a hard issue for myself, I wonder if it is a point of ponder for minds also! One thing that has helped me, is to remember that I must not waver personal comfort in light of principles of modesty. I would encourage you to be a young lady of principle. If your parents prefer you to wear a 2-layer blouse or a certain length skirt when you are in public, then honor their desires. A few drops of sweat or discomfort are not compared to causing a brother or sister in our Lord Jesus to stumble.

Another thought about feminine clothing, is that everyone has different standards. It is never my desire to cause another sister in the Lord to be discontent with her own wardrobe or her parents’ clothing standard, because I wear something different. We have a freedom within each of our own family standards of dress, but it must be used with discretion and caution, remembering others with consideration. In some circles, outward appearance or dress can be a huge issue of struggle for girls. Several chapters in Romans address this issue; while on a larger scale of theology, I believe the same principles apply in other areas of life.

“For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord,
every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.
Let us not therefore judge one another any more:
but judge this rather,
that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way…
Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace,
and things wherewith one may edify another.”
{Romans 14:11-19}

It really is not that important what our clothing color and style preferences are, for we are to seek the Kingdom and righteousness of God together with the Body of believers, not cause schisms over trivial matters of clothing references (within reason of modesty). Verse 19 is a very crucial reminder to me when remembering my duty to build up others, and to glorify God, not focus on carnal areas such as pride in clothing. To live for ONE! The very next chapter of Romans says, “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves” (Romans 15:1). That is not to say we build our convictions around whomever we might to spend the day with, but we should be considerate of those who might be weak in this area and might stumble and look more at the outward than the inward – Christ. If you stand on principles and standards of modesty as a light for Jesus, others will be refreshed and challenged!

press on with joy
Dear sister in Christ, I pray you will be blessed as you strive to be more feminine and joyful in God’s perfect design for you. How has He been convicting and molding your thoughts in this area lately?

God bless you this summer!

Looking to Christ my Savior,

1 c o m m e n t s »

KATIE HAMILTON Dearest Sarah,
Thank you so much for sharing all that you did in this month’s forum on femininity. It was an encouragement, as I was going through (and still am dealing with repercussions of) adverse comments and conversations concerning my and my parent’s convictions concerning this VERY TOPIC!!!! It also motivated me a bit from the discouragement I was facing! God laid this on your heart at the perfect time! Thank you so much and PRAISE HIM, dear sister!!! Love, Katie

Walk With Christ

July 1, 2011 KBR Ministries Leave a comment

“Therefore came I forth to meet thee,
diligently to seek thy face,
and I have found thee.”
{Proverbs 7:15}

Our life in Christ is all about Him. We are to focus solely on our Savior Jesus Christ: from that focus, flows sanctification and actions which glorify His name.

This is what I am learning lately, as I realize how many things in this world persistently strive to steal my focus away from Jesus Christ. And so often I become more focused on reforming my outward actions – submission, kindness, gentleness, joy – than on my Leader, my Rock of strength – my ALL! “The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower” (Psalm 18:2). If any man knew what this meant, David did – the great man of war. He knew His God was trustworthy and was his source of…everything!

When I am not focused on God, my life bears no godly fruit. I am only fruitful when I am abiding in Jesus Christ, my Vine of life, and I am only truly joyful and victorious when that is where my eyes are focused. Why is this so? Because of my own strength I am nothing, I am weak – Christ says that He is the only source of true spiritual growth. Never truer were the words, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye,except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

And so how do I maintain this ardent, unmovable focus on my Savior? on that incorruptible prize that will be bestowed to the faithful at the end of our earthly race? “Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible” (1 Corinthians 9:24).

The only solution is to place aside – with fervor! – distractions and any estimation of worldly acclaim or glory of man. This is hard, for as a human I naturally strive for the acceptance of fellow man – but I must only be looking to One and only seeking His acclaim, His approving words, “Well done, good and faithful servant”(Matthew 25:23).

One way I have recently been striving to remind myself of the importance of the approval of Jesus Christ alone, is just repeating a beautiful yet simple verse to myself: “I will love thee, O Lord, my strength” (Psalm 18:1). Truly this is a choice, and so reminding myself of it is very important.

“O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee:
my soul thirsteth for thee,
my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land,
where no water is.”
{Psalm 63:1}

One of my recent memory passages was Psalm 42, and I am continually praying and requesting a truth of this in my life: “My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God? O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is” (verses 1-2). I am opening my mouth, longing for more of God and more love for Him, and know that He Who is faithful will perform His promise in Psalm 81:10, “I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

From this relationship and focus on Christ alone will flow the areas that we all desire in our Christian walks – the fruits of the Spirit: joy, love, peace, meekness, faith (Galatians 5:22), patience, truth, goodness (Ephesians 5:9), and the overwhelming love of Christ Jesus that you just want to pour it out on everyone you see! This happens when we come to Him and place Him first in life, and let me tell you friend, it is an unbelievable joy to have His love overflowing within! It is so worth seeking with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength!

Knowing You
All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now compared to this

Now my heart’s desire is to know You more
To be found in You and know as Yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh to know the power of Your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like You in Your death, my Lord
So with You to live and never die

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing
You’re my all, You’re the best
You’re my joy, my righteousness
And I love You Lord.
{Graham Kendrick}

May we each run the race set before us without falter or wavering of focus on the One true God and the One true source of strength. May our eyes be only and always for Our King, awaiting the day when we shall see His nail-scarred hands open to welcome us Home (Matthew 25:23) to those streets of gold (Revelation 21:21). Sister, go to Him today; leave your burdens there at His throne. Are you weary? Quit bearing those burdens for no reason. Stop trying to do good alone. Rest in Him and enjoy the fullness of His presence (Pslam 16:11). Simply worship Him in holiness and invest in loving Him more. He will bless your effort!

“Seek ye the LORD while he may be found,
call ye upon him while he is near.”
{Isaiah 55:6}

“The Lord is faithful,
who shall stablish you,
and keep you from evil.”
{2 Thessalonians 3:3}

Is your mouth opened – wide? He is ready to fill!

Looking to Christ,

2 c o m m e n t s »

SAMANTHA P. Sarah ~ this article was so timely for me! Thank you for sharing it with us! God has been teaching me some similar things recently. I find it so easy to lose my focus on the Lord and let other things cloud the beauty of gazing upon His face! He is our ALL! Oh to KNOW Christ – there is no greater thing! Oh to count everything else as loss compared to that wondrous knowledge! (Phil. 3:7-11) I love that verse in Psalm 81:10, “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it.” What a beautiful promise! The Lord recently reminded me of that promise and I have been thinking of what a great picture it is for us. The Lord is our great provider, and all we have to do is open our mouth – reach out our hand – and accept His great blessings! What an amazing God! Thank you for the reminder to cast all our cares and burdens at His feet. We so often tend to try in our own strength to carry our cares, without thinking of how foolish we are. May the Lord continue to bless your ministry to young ladies!
(By the way, your pictures of the baby bird went so well and were so cute!)

MARTHA JOY Dear Sarah! Thank you so much for the encouraging article! I lately have had the same troubles that you are talking about here…not focusing on the Lord, but rather things of this world. It’s so hard not to get caught up with things around us, but then I suppose that’s what what the world wants of us! :| Thanks again for the encouragment, dear sister! Love you ~ Martha Joy