by Naomi Watt

This month, KBR is hosting an “Encourage Your Siblings Challenge.” Throughout we are posting articles written by other sisters with ideas on how to invest in and encourage our siblings. As you take the challenge this month, we would love to hear what projects YOU have done together with your siblings. Email your ideas to us to share with other KBR readers!

Are you your brothers’ seeker? My purpose is to inspire you to a higher goal for relating to and seeking encouraging relationships your siblings. Good relationships don’t automatically happen; they take work, and you only get out of them what you put into them. Keep in mind that “every wise woman buildeth her house” (Proverbs 14:1).

Paul desired for the Colossians that their hearts be “knit together in love” (Colossians 2:2); and we are warned that “He that loveth not his brother abideth in death” (1 John 3:14). You have a responsibility to everyone around you (“Whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea” Mark 9:42), especially to the ones God has put right in your reach.

“Seeking” our siblings implies desire, purpose, and effort on our part. This may not be easy. It takes work. You must go out of your way to do it. Your focus must be off of yourself and your own plans; you must want to know your siblings, and you must diligently give all of yourself for your siblings’ good, edification, and to bring honor to the Lord. “Be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous…knowing that ye are hereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3: 8,9). “Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works” (Hebrews 10:24). Jesus gave His all when He sought us; how can we do less? Therefore, seek and pursue your sibling relationships with all of your heart.

Do you truly love your siblings for their sakes’, or is there some selfish ambition in your heart, some self-glory that is the motivation for your love toward them? Is there something you want to get out of or from your family members? It is very easy to fall into the trap of serving others in order to build yourself up. However, in seeking others, self must be crucified. As Paul said: “for I seek not yours, but you” (2 Cor. 12:14). “For we are glad, when we are weak, and ye are strong: and this also we wish, even your perfection” (2 Cor. 13:9; also 1 Cor. 10:33). How important are your siblings to you? “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God” (Colossians 4:12). You know the story of Abraham and Lot; Abraham went to great lengths to honor his brother, and to seek peace, much to his own inconvenience. He said, “Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee…for we be brethren” (Genesis13:8). Let that be our watchword!

I fall in the middle of the line of siblings in my family, so I know how it is to be both the ‘little kid’ and, now, an older sister. Recognizing the importance of the responsibility I have towards those who come after me has put me face to face with how I must be seeking God out of a pure heart, for by seeking Him, I will find the way to reach the hearts of my siblings. Ask God for a heart to see your siblings as He sees them!

When one of my older siblings chose the worldly path, I was told by someone that they didn’t know why I had let him go that way. At first, I thought that was quite an unfair accusation, especially since I am not his parent. However, after a little reflection, I saw that indeed, I had not set myself to fervently pray for him, encourage him in righteousness, or seek him out in his spiritual walk. There are so many things I could have done that may have built him up and could have turned him from the choices he made. Granted, in the end it is every man’s choice which way he will go, but God has placed each of us in our individual families, and He does it for a reason. We are accountable to fulfill His purpose in building one another up. What positive influence might I have been able to wield in my brother’s life, had I not slipped from under the responsibility?

Another sister who has learned the hard way says,

“As I look back at the relationship I had with one of my brothers, who has now rejected his Christian upbringing now chosen a different way of life, I feel deep regret for the opportunities I missed as his sister when we were growing up together. Our relationship tended to be light and silly, and I did not encourage him in his pursuits or dreams for life.  Tears flow from my heart now, as I see how the way I treated him then has contributed to his current lifestyle and the way he now deals with his wife. If only I had encouraged him, built him up, prayed for him, and sought a deeper relationship in the days we were given together… Although the past is done, I have learned from the mistakes I made and earnestly strive to invest in the lives of the siblings that still live at home. PLEASE, dear sisters, remember that your influence is so powerful in your siblings’ lives. The days we have together are soon setting – and will be forever past. Life is but a vapor. You do not want to look back with deep regret. TODAY is the day to make the choice to invest – do not wait until tomorrow.”

Friends, this is serious. Please, begin now to make it a priority to know and encourage your siblings; openly talk of spiritual things (how is God working in their lives?), gently press them toward Jesus, by word and example; pray diligently, carrying them daily to the feet of Christ. Beware of hypocrisy; you are being watched by your siblings. Do not be a stumbling block that keeps them from the Kingdom.

Sibling relationships are a wonderful “mission field,” – but it starts simply. Learn to know and love them. Develop strong, trusting relationships with them. And—never give up—for, as long as there is breath there’s hope, through Christ. Remember you cannot carry your burdens or make your siblings choose right. Once you have encouraged them and set an upright example, leave the results at the feet of Jesus, and pray unceasingly for them. “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). Psalms 55:22 says, “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

You may feel like you have been wandering around in a barren wasteland, or are stepping out on an uncharted course; but the key is that, you are found seeking to build your relationships. When you do these things in your family, showing that you love them, this gives you credibility when you need to speak truth into their lives where it really matters. They will hear you even when it hurts, because they know they are important to you—they will know you love them, and want what is best for them. “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1) It is indeed beautiful…begin now.

Naomi Watt (22)

Enjoy this month’s special computer desktop wallpaper: