by McKenna Smith
“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”
(James 3:17-18)
Dear sisters, you are the beloved of God, His precious daughters, and beautiful heirs. It is not Christ’s desire that you think critical thoughts – about yourselves or others.
Today I would like to discuss first of all what might be the cause of our (often all too hasty) criticisms of others. How do we breathe God’s grace into the lives of others?
Sisters, are we finding our identity and our purpose and our joy in Jesus? Is He our Audience of One? If this is not the case, then our security is lost. The truth of it is we are each born insecure and only find that true, deep security in Christ. Please, let us not blame “personality” for something that every daughter of God should conquer. I am by nature a quiet, reserved individual. It has taken the grace of God and many years of careful cultivation to develop a spirit of genuine focus upon others and their needs, especially in large group settings. I still fall very far short. But His grace is at work and He continues that work which He has begun in me.
Sisters, He is doing the same for you. So, seek Him for security that enables you to step outside of yourself and into the lives, heartaches, and challenges of others. He wants to use you in such mighty ways in the lives of your brothers and sisters in Christ. Criticism stems from a lack of this kind of Christ-like love. When we are insecure about ourselves, our appearances, our mannerisms, where we “fit in” in our circles, etc…we are far more prone to stop viewing people as loved by Christ and to start viewing them as our judges. This lends itself to a judgmental spirit.
The cycle does nothing to build up the body of Christ. Believe me – I have been caught in it. Also, I have had the sad experience of witnessing the harmful outcomes of this lack of security in Christ. The enemy works to tear down the body of Christ by turning our eyes from Christ and onto ourselves. If you wish to stop being critical of others, first you must forget yourself completely in the reality of Who JESUS is and what His magnificent grace has done for you. As Paul did in Galatians:
“But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by Whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature. And as many as walk according to this rule, peace be on them, and mercy, and upon the Israel of God. From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus. Brethren, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.”
(Galatians 6:14-18)
Sisters, Jesus Christ went to the cross for you. In Him, you are a new creature. His grace has been poured out upon your spirit!
This grace is extravagant. It captivates our hearts and is meant to keep us marveling. God is holy. Sin can never be in His Presence. But God wanted His people near Him, glorifying His Name, delighting in His statutes, living forever with Him. So He sent JESUS, the propitiation for our sins, the Redeemer of His people. This is grace. Because it is us being given what we don’t deserve. So far above and beyond what we deserve. Grace is undeserved kindness that we get to live in light of every single day – and that we get to pour out to others.
We wake in the morning and make a choice. We walk into a room and make a choice. We go to church and make a choice. We can choose grace that builds up over destructive criticisms. Paul wrote the Philippians, “Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:14-15). When we choose to forsake murmurings and disputings, we not only claim a place as blameless sons of God but we also shine light in the world. Light reveals truth, it dispels lies, and it points people back to the God of light.
Please join me in this glorious endeavor, sisters. Let us love God in how we love each other. He is working in the lives of His children in such precious ways. We can embrace diversity as He does or we can be quick to judge, tearing down others. God looks upon the heart and it is His place to judge.
What can we do today to replace criticism with grace in our own hearts?
- We can seek Jesus to obtain security in Him alone. Let us be sure our confidence is founded upon the solid Rock of Christ, that our hearts are washed spotless by His blood, that we rejoice in His grace every day.
- We can forsake judgment of the saints, bringing to mind that he who is forgiven much loves much (Luke 7:47). Sometimes we are called to administer grace to others by speaking truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We will know when that time comes if we remain surrendered to Jesus. But we will never know when that time is right if we harbor critical attitudes and bitter thoughts.
- We can invest in our relationship with Jesus Christ before anything else. Delight yourself in Him and He will show you the way, His Spirit will lead, He will be faithful, and you will have peace in abundance. Remember, “the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace” (James 3:18). He will fill your soul with that wisdom which is from above that “is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17).
Beloved of Jesus, I would encourage you to take time to be still before Him today. Lay before Him your mistakes and your brokenness. Trust Him to fill all your empty places. Yield yourself, body and soul, to His eternal purposes. It is then that His grace will come pouring out of your life in the most astounding ways.
– McKenna
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I like that thought-provoking statement you shared… “When we are insecure about ourselves, our appearances, our mannerisms, where we ‘fit in’ in our circles, etc…we are far more prone to stop viewing people as loved by Christ and to start viewing them as our judges. This lends itself to a judgmental spirit.” The way we view ourselves will affect our view of others. Our confidence and security must be in Christ alone!
Thank you for sharing this convicting reminder, McKenna. :)
Grateful this was a blessing, Natalie! :) A good reminder for my own heart as well! <3
- McKenna
I love the way you’ve described finding our identity and purpose in Christ. Recently, I’ve been studying with my parents about what having my identity in Christ means and how to avoid worldly counterfeits of identity, so this article was timely! I am a little confused, though, about how having a quiet, reserved personality means either that you don’t have your identity in Christ or that you have a judgmental spirit. Could you explain that further? Maybe I missed a vital connection somewhere!
Thank you for sharing, Madison! How wonderful God’s timing is!! <3
Oh, yes, thank you for asking...what I meant there was primarily about how finding our identity in Christ ought to make us others-focused. I know for myself personally that being reserved and quiet has made it more challenging to step out of my comfort zone and put the needs of others first. When I fail to be confident in who I am in Christ and rather "hide" behind all my insecurities, then I am failing to demonstrate the love of Jesus. Finding our identity in Christ should fill us with confidence - not pride. But a genuine Christ-like confidence. The kind that would make us willing to look beyond our own needs and into the lives and needs of others. This is the same confidence that Christ had as He went to the cross, putting others before Himself in the most astounding way every witnessed. As children of God, we have the HOLY SPIRIT. He enables us to live confidently in light of His own power and grace. Hopefully that makes a little more senses...? :)
- McKenna
Thank you for taking the time to explain. It makes a little more sense now, though I still am having a hard time understanding making the connection between pride and a reserved, quiet nature, mainly because some of the best Christians I’ve ever known have been quiet folks. Maybe that’s a question I could discuss with my parents when we meet for our study next. I do agree with. you that confidence in Christ is a great balm to dealing with insecurities. That’s a lesson I keep on having to learn!
I’m sorry, Madison. I think I might see more clearly what you mean now. ;) Truly some of the wisest and most God-glorifying people I have known have been quiet as well, in the sense that they do not draw attention to themselves but rather to God and are discreet and excellent listeners! This type of “quiet” is a really wonderful trait to learn! I suppose a more accurate word for me to have used instead of quiet or reserved would have been “shy.” Often those who allow themselves to be shy are really self-centered rather than others-focused (speaking from personal experience here.;) It is this kind of quiet and reserved I am talking about as being detrimental if allowed to keep you from stepping out of your comfort zone and ministering to others. Now perhaps this makes a little more sense…?;) Thank you for your patience! And, yes, please discuss this with your parents!! We truly have no better counselors or friends!! <3
- McKenna
Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me, McKenna! I really appreciate it! :D. Makes more sense now.
-Madison
My pleasure, Madison…thank you again for your patience and grace. :) God bless!
– McKenna
Hello! It’s been a while since I last met another girl who shared my name!
I actually struggle a lot with many of the things you were pointing out, and it has hurt relationships in the past. I’m thankful for this reminder that my own preferences and feelings aren’t as important as Christ’s love coming from His people. It’s so sweet to know that there are others out there who see this as a problem and are willing to gently and graciously point it out.
Hello McKenna! Haha, I was literally just speaking with someone yesterday about how I have never actually met another McKenna, at least with the same spelling. So happy I can no longer say that!=)
What a blessing to know this has encouraged you…thank you for sharing. <3 Yes, Christ's love is stunning and *we* have the delight of making it known to the world...! This thought alone fills me with so much joy!! May He bless you in your endeavors to rest in His love...and watch it pour forth from your life.
- McKenna
Aww, thank you! And blessings to you as well!
Thank you so much for writing sharing what the LORD laid on your heart, McKenna! It was an inspiration and challenged me to do some soul-searching. I had never realized that being insecure about myself and imagining other people judging me cultivates a judgemental spirit in me. But it makes sense, and looking back, I see the same in my own life. I am an introvert by nature and used to feel very inferior, and sadly, I became self-focused and judgemental. But by God’s Grace (isn’t it wonderful?!) He brought me victory.
I especially appreciated your article because many of your main points were things I just heard preached on Sunday at a church I was visiting. Your exhortation: “Let us love God in how we love each other” is a very neat repeat of the minister’s: “God says ‘Learn to love Me Who you cannot see by loving My children who you can see.’” I see a serious lack of love among Christians, and I am not perfect either! I have so much to learn. Thank you for your timely encouragement—a call to love!!!
Praise the Lord, Hannah!! His grace *is* wonderful and it is so uplifting to hear how He is working in your life! I so appreciate how the minister worded our “call to love” – so beautiful! May Jesus be with you as you love others and watch that love multiply. <3
-McKenna
I think that it’s important to surrender our criticisms to God and pray for those persons, whom we find annoying and immature.
Very true! Assuming the best of others has also been a challenging but excellent lesson I’ve been learning of late. This oftentimes allows me to see beyond the “annoying” or “immature” to the grace of God at work in the lives of others.
Thanks for sharing, Tirzah!
-McKenna
I agree with you, Tirzah. God has taught me that when I find myself getting annoyed or out of patience with someone, to remember that I myself am not perfect; it is unreasonable to expect others to be! Yes, it is wonderful to see God’s grace at work in the lives of others! He doesn’t give up on us… neither should we give up on others and think they are hopeless cases. One song I like says: “He’s still working on me To make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and mars, How loving and patient He must be—He’s still working on me!”