Beautiful Confidants — Our Sisters

by Abigail and Joy Vergeer

Once upon a time, there were two sisters who thought they were nothing alike…

One had short brown hair and brown eyes, the other had long blonde hair and blue eyes. One worked with children, the other with the elderly. One dreamed of being a missionary, the other ministered in familiar places. One was dependable and confident, the other easygoing and quiet. These two girls were different indeed, but they were united through Jesus Christ.

Hi! We’re Joy and Abigail! And although we are different, we share the same passion—serving our Lord Jesus Christ! Our differences remind us that God has placed us together as sister-partners in accomplishing His desires. We are His hands and His feet; we are fellow laborers for Christ.

“Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be like-minded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: that ye may, with one mind and one mouth, glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
(Romans 15:5-6)

Praying together is one way we can glorify God “with one mind and one mouth.”

Two years ago, we made a pact and promised to keep it for the rest of our lives. It was a formal agreement between the two of us, sealed with a solemn handshake (followed by laughter, of course!). Every month we agree on a “prayer focus,” and together we appeal to God for that request every day. This has been PHENOMENAL! We have witnessed God’s transforming power more than ever before.

Here’s an answered prayer that still inspires us. In April, we began to faithfully pray for a Christian man who had lost his wife and hadn’t handled it well. He didn’t answer anyone’s letters, calls or emails. He did occasionally respond to our parents’ texts, but only to say he was not doing well. This went on for almost a year. YET, less than a week after we began praying for him every day, he CALLED with news that was music to our ears: “I’m ready to meet with you; can we talk?” Their conversation lasted several hours, and, by God’s grace, he began to work through some of his pain.

“For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them.”
(Matthew 18:20)

Earnestly encourage, intentionally invest, eagerly exhort…

From time to time, I forget that God has hand-picked Abigail and I (Joy) to be sisters for a specific purpose, and I begin to feel apathetic about investing in her life. However, as we develop our relationship with the Lord, He gives us the motivation to continually do good for our sisters. Furthermore, we can spur each other “unto love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24). Challenging each other to memorize Scripture is a great way to do that. I can also think of numerous times when Abi challenged me to a “no-negativity” contest or a “bless-our-brothers” week.

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
(Philippians 2:3-4)

Value each other’s words like a best friend would.

Recently, while reminiscing a special event, Joy suddenly said, “Abi, it meant so much to me that you stayed up late that night and let me tell you all about it even though you were really tired. That meant more to me than anything you’ve ever done for me…ever!”
Ever?! I had no idea it meant so much.

We’re learning to listen to each other…and not just listen, but sincerely care what the other says. It takes a little extra time, but in the end, the fellowship of a sister lasts a lifetime.

“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
(Galatians 6:2)

Forgive and invest in each other.

We are immeasurably far from perfect, yet God is gently teaching us to become unified in our differences so that we may advance His kingdom. We have disputes and disagreements, but we always purpose to pray for unity, and not “let the sun go down on our anger” (Eph. 4:26). It is so important not to hold a grudge, but instead, to forgive and keep giving. Try to invest in each other not expecting, or even hoping, for anything in return.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
(Ephesians 4:32)

The Lord created the relationship between sisters and He prizes it!
He wants to grant us a rich abundant relationship with each other. When the Lord is the center of our relationship, He can do so much through us. It is a beautiful thing to see how He shows himself strong on our behalf as we seek to glorify Him in the way we treat each other.

Our prayer…

Lord, please grant us the desire to love each other unconditionally. Help us to develop Your heart for one another. We ask that You would make us best friends. Help us to support, encourage, and spur each other on to love and good works. Father, please help us to develop the skill of conflict resolution so that nothing can divide us. Help us to forgive each other, to overlook offenses, and to use our words carefully. Thank You for perfectly placing us where we are; may we use every opportunity to further Your kingdom, that You may be glorified.

Love,

Abigail and Joy, your sisters and co-laborers in Christ

“We are labourers together with God…”
(1 Corinthians 3:9)

Photography by Ashton Sweeney

7 thoughts on “Beautiful Confidants — Our Sisters

  1. Hello Abigail and Joy!
    Thank you for your article about sisters. It is wonderful that you are sharing your experiences with all of us.

    I was wondering if you would have any tips for girls like me who have no sisters. I do have one brother, though, and I can see ways to apply these same ideas with him. If you have any thoughts, I would love to hear them!

    Thanks!
    Joanna

  2. Dear Miss Abigail and Joy, thank you so much for your helpful and encouraging words. I have three little sisters and sometimes it’s such a challenge to be kind and loving to them when they do certain things . But l want to have the same kind of beautiful relationship that you have with each other,and truely invest in their lives!

  3. Hadassah! What a pretty name!
    You are on the right track, dear!
    When I struggled to get along with my youngest brother, I tried to make a habit of praying for him all the time… Joy and I even chose him as our prayer focus one month.
    Recently though, God’s work has become very apparent in his life and he is such an admirable young man!! So many years of prayers suddenly coming to fruition! It’s so exciting!!!

    May God grant you your desire to be closer with your sisters, and may He teach you in the process!

    -Abigail <3

  4. Hello Joanna!
    That’s a great question—we have 4 brothers, and yes, we definitely apply these to our brothers too! For example, we’ve seen God totally refocus our brothers back on Him with only the tool of prayer!

    A couple other things we’ve learned to do are:
    Serve Them:
    Our brothers love it when we help them do their chores or make them lunch!

    Be Interested:
    Whether our little brother wants to show us something he made outside, or one of our older brothers got new tires on his truck—we really try to be interested and excited, and ask them questions!

    Let them pick out our clothes one day. :)
    This is kind of random, but our brothers love to pick out an outfit for us, and they really like it when we pick out theirs! They also beam when we give a compliment, and now they give us compliments too!

    We can also ask the Lord to give us creative ways to honor, serve, and respect our brother/s.

    As we write these, we realize we need to work on them just as much as anyone, so thank you for your comment, Joanna!
    ~Abigail and Joy :)

    1. Thank you so much, Abigail and Joy! Those are some really great ideas. I appreciate your help!

      ~Joanna

  5. Thank you again for the advice! I also have two brothers, and your encouragement to Miss Joanna helped me too.

  6. Wow! I loved this. I know, like many others, I tend to take my family for granted and focus on investing in friends lives more than those God has placed right now in my life–my family. I want to love more, serve more, pray more for my two sisters and brother. Because I know God wants to move in mighty ways in their life.
    So good. Thank you for sharing your hearts and blessing me with the words God has given you both. Love you!!

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